Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I was eating in the food court at the mall by myself but then a cute guy from my school offers to sit by me, I say yes of course, he then asks me for a french fry. Later on I realize he has eaten half my meal. He only wanted to sit by me for my food. FML
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML
Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
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Top comments
MissMess 12
He's clearly lonely for a reason.
HowieDoIt 21
Maybe it's his "I'd tap that" list. congrats!
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Comments (166)
MissMess 12
He's clearly lonely for a reason.
hellbilly205 17
Always better to be first then last!
mkcontrollers 11
In this case. Last is better. Someone needs Counseling
dontpanic_fml 32
Maybe...what came first, the chicken or the egg?
mkcontrollers 11
Evolution #48
chowE_fml 4
Columbine
TheAbstract 15
Tell me 22, how can someone be first and then last?
ducky45 20
Always the quiet ones..
tjv3 10
Turn him in to the office. You could be the one that stops the next school massacre
iAmLauRawr 10
Maybe he's socially awkward? awkward people do weird stuff. I myself used to be really awkward and did weird shit to spark a conversation. However, a hit list was not one of them. If he created it in front of you then i assume he did it as a joke, BUT if he whipped it out his bag and did some creepy ass smile... then screw the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and purchase a high quality bullet vest and keep that mother ****** close instead.
BaKuTay 14
48- British scientists have already proven that it was the chicken that came first, due to the fact that a protein, found only in a chicken's ovaries, is necessary for the formation of the egg.
Mossears133 15
126- Dinosaurs came before chickens. Dinosaurs laid eggs. Therefore, you fail.
whostolemylama 12
Actually the answer is WHO GIVES! Really, it's the same as is the glass half full or half empty. It's based on perception which clearly this FML does not need. It needs closure.
AKGirlinSD 20
Thank you, 120, for saying that. With the amount of massacres these past couple of years, I'd take that seriously and tell the school counselor. To OP, it was refreshing to see that you wanted a lonely person to have company. Nowadays, people care way too much what others think of them, in social matters. Keep paying it forward :-).
BaKuTay 14
131- However, the debate includes the chicken egg and the chicken, not any other egg. Therefore, your argument that because dinosaurs laid eggs is irrelevant to this debate.
RedstoneEditor 3
Great minds think alike... *than*
functional 13
bullshit
freedomofmusic 12
Awkward...
HaneenDixon 16
Hello there captain obvious, we meet again (¬_¬) ..
Shmatterhorn 38
You don't say!
Roskie 16
Awkward? Try terrifying.
Horsempeg 25
Maybe for sitting with them they will take you off said list.. like they did in Billy Madison
karlcolt45 19
well then...time to hit the ol' dusty trail
sarahshanghai 9
It's probably dusty because OP is at the top.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Umm... What?
chowE_fml 4
Lol @ 50. I get it.. It's dustier than a top shelf
oneforceone 8
I think 3 is making a Family Guy reference, or FG made a reference to something.
thepersonyouknow 9
^^ thank you catherine obvious
HowieDoIt 21
Maybe it's his "I'd tap that" list. congrats!
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Unless OP is a guy.
sux4u121 10
I guess gays can't have lists of who they would bang, who would've known.
mcar 13
You mean "I'd hit that" list.
CatsForLife 3
At least you made him happy... You know if you die and stuff.
lishajoy777 14
If not... Well then... Sorry
jodakast 3
8-o stink
browneyedgirl52 13
You should keep eating with him and try to get back on his good side!
greenie213 23
That would just be giving him an opportunity to poison your food, OP.
Freethaawave 19
OP could pull a Billy Madison and maybe he'll take him off the hit list.
karlcolt45 19
man am I glad I called that guy
generalasskicker 12
Or next time someone shows you a hit list with you on it take preemptive action whip there ass take the list and tell the cops you thought your life was in danger
sabbyheartswhat 23
That's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard.... -.- he already dislikes you enough to put you on the TOP of a hit list. Lets kick his ass while I'm at it. Let's see if I can get him to kill my whole family while he's at it. There we have the ever present ignaraMOOSE.
Clearly 7
Be super duper nice to him... And just for precautionary measures tell a teacher. You never know when kids like that are serious.
lilhellian 27
This really does seem like one of the early sign for a school shooting.. :/
IscoreOnU 19
Normally I wouldn't say anything but yeah^^ this doesn't seem like a good thing. I'd tell someone.
Incredidanny 5
You have to tell a teacher about this.
poetrywriter12 6
Same thing happened to me and people in my class. He had detailed ways to kill us all...
wlddog 14
The best you can hope for is to report him, and stay as far from them as possible.
Gnieves28 4
I'd be deathly afraid to report him. What if he found out it was you that reported him... Then he'd go ape shit. OOF. Double bladed sword.
CharresBarkrey 16
70 - That's why you report him to the police. All these shootings in the US are happening, and we're finding out AFTER that nearly all of the shooters told at least one person what they were planning. Most of them do. I reported a kid in high school who had a detailed plan of killing one kid. One kid. The cops expelled him from our school district, and who knows what would've happened if I hadn't done it.
KingCeltic77 18
I once did a service project in a service project in the inner city, and there was a young lad, who was as nice as. Could be, and I was tutoring him. Then he told me about all of his dads guns, and how he wants to bring the AK-47 and shoot his teacher and attack the school. Would he go through with it? My guess, no, but I told my teacher, and he sent an e-mail to the school. You can never be too sure. For all we know, he could've been serious.
poetrywriter12 6
It's all good now. He moved and is now homeschooled. But the face he wanted me to choke on stuff was creepy at the time O.o
HowieDoIt 21
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer