Today, since my dad decided he's tired of not being completely comfortable in his own home, he now wears only a knee-length robe without underwear so he can "really enjoy the breeze". I've seen more balls in a few days than a pro baseball player does his entire career. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML
Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
Today, my dad came out of our hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said, "Look! This place has cotton loincloths!" in front of my wedding party. FML
Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML
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Top comments
samomaha 17
I feel your pain. My extremely overweight mother-in-law wears an old VERY short flannel nightie until late morning, and sits in her recliner with the foot rest up. Needless to say, one gets a full view of her privates whenever you glance her way. We have both asked her to please wear underwear when we stay, but she won't. We now stay in a hotel when we visit.
azouwa 26
My spirit animal. :-)
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Comments (16)
azouwa 26
My spirit animal. :-)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I know a guy who sells MiB neurolyzers, his pager number is 555-0123.
RichardPencil 32
That’s foul. When you see them hanging over the plate, don’t be afraid to sacrifice and swing for a double. And if he asks for long relief, run like hell for a new home. You don’t want to get caught in the pickle.
Lobby_Bee 18
Not even brain bleach can save you now.
YupThatsRight01 6
More FOUL balls 😂
samomaha 17
I feel your pain. My extremely overweight mother-in-law wears an old VERY short flannel nightie until late morning, and sits in her recliner with the foot rest up. Needless to say, one gets a full view of her privates whenever you glance her way. We have both asked her to please wear underwear when we stay, but she won't. We now stay in a hotel when we visit.
Lobby_Bee 18
I have this strange feeling for a pastrami sandwich right after I read this.
real life problems 26
Don't like it? Move out.
PenguinPal3017 19
Without knowing her age this isn't a reasonable option.
openawhole00 6
was he watching walking dead with your sister while eating forbidden cake after prom?
Davros 12
awe man, there's nothing worse than when the one ball that hangs lower gets stuck to the leather chair.
Davros 12
awe man, there's nothing worse than when the one ball that hangs lower gets stuck to the leather chair.