Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, trying to exercise and be more healthy, I went for a walk but I developed a friction thigh rash. The rash is so bad I will likely not be able to get on another walk for days. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
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Top comments
whyusofat 17
Dont make any rash decisions now op. just explain what was going on. No need to scratch the surface of a possibly good friendship you two might have.
Agtthepw 21
The relief smile probably contributed to the awkwardness. What happen then? Did your roommate just leave the room with a sorry-that-I-disturbed-you face?
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Comments (55)
lolwhatthehellz 15
You guys just achieved a milestone in your relationship. EMBRACE THE AWKWARD BONDING
yerawizardlizzy 27
Time for some hydrocortisone!
olpally 33
If she asked to help you, then I'd be concerned. Other than that, shit happens. No worries op. Haha.
golferman72 16
This reminds me of the hangnail FML. And how he got rid of his "hangnail"
cryssycakesx3 23
or the guy picking his bellybutton lint
LennyComa 39
Stick to the Rash story, because your Room mate will inevitably tell as many people who know you as possible about this. I repeat stick to the rash story
Smoothiemuch 8
LMAO! Just like I did when I was rubbing my stomach under the sheet and my aunt misunderstood it. It sucks though.
lifeof_toad 19
I want to know what your roommate was thinking.
sonictardis 8
It really doesn't need explaining, if it does, you're probably too young for the internet.
emeraldmaz 9
Do Australians not use the term "flatmates," now?
idioticmess 15
ahh and the awkward moment trying to explain what you were really doing.
WeskersSexslave 15
I remember scratching my pubes while I was about to sleep when my mother came in with my dog.. I was just thinking 'i hope she didn't think I was doing anything weird'
cryssycakesx3 23
masturbation isn't weird...
kingdomgirl94 29
but definitely not something you want people thinking they saw you doing.