Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, at around 11 p.m., the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
Excessively paranoid neighbours, never a good thing.
sandinthewaves 5
Lol, those people watch too much tv.
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Comments (92)
karlee333 11
Paranoid neighbors much? Maybe it's their house that the police should have been searching..
stash01 0
What did you do to them in the past for them to think you might try to kill them?
supportcommand 17
You live in America and don't own a gun?? That's very un-American of you. You need to shoot over to the closest 7-11 and get one and become paranoid like the rest.
ballpython 15
The only guns they have at 7 eleven have orange tips and require caps, or they squirt water.
TheDrifter 24
No, he means to buy them from the dude in front if 7-11, not from the store.
supportcommand 17
You have to go there when "slick" is working. Do NOT speak to him. Stand next to the magazine rack, cluck like a chicken twice , then once, then twice more. Slick will handle it from there. Good luck.
lambda_fml 40
The next time they barbeque call the police and say have burnt their house.
TheOnlyX 11
I saw "daft" and thought it was going to proceed with "punk"....let's just say I am now saddened.
Rodders_SOTC 1
This is why rednecks shouldn't be allowed to watch TV
Oh_So_Klassical 18
I've had the same thing happen. My then neighbors said we were growing pot in our backyard. It was just a bunch of poison ivy. The cops weren't too happy about that. When they went over to talk to them about not finding anything, they found pot plants at THEIR house. Ironic huh?
KiddNYC1O 22
Freaking idiots dimed themselves out.
_krystallynn_ 11
your neighbors an idiot haha
noisebox 1
If you know the neighbors who called I would give them shit for being retards, and for possibly almost having you gotten killed...
KellyPeterson92 10
Haha I would ask them where their evidence was and their warrant and politely shut the door. There's no way I'd let a cop even in the door with a silly accusation like that!