Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML
Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Today, I got a notification from a delivery carrier that my package had been delivered. I opened the door to find a perfectly wrapped box with no address, no label, and a note inside saying, "You’ll know when it’s time." I still don’t know what it means. FML
Today, I received a text saying that a package had just been delivered to the house. By the time I reached the front door, it had been stolen. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
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Top comments
moodi_fml 0
First, call the police because the package has your name not your neighbor's. Second, call the mail company to complain about the mailman and follow up on the complaint.
ManInTheMachine 20
Honestly, how old is your neighbor? Because he's acting like he's ten. 'Finders keepers' doesn't apply in thr real world. You should give him a high five. In the face. With your mailbox.
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Comments (207)
ICastillo 25
You need to go over there knock on the door as soon as he answers "Falcon punch" him right in the face and get your phone. But you have to scream "Falcon Punch" when you hit him.
princessAj1 6
Falcon punch ???
Quidikic 9
Oh god-85-You have disappointed me.
Coby1996 0
FALCON KICK!
Il_Maestro 6
Or just eat him and steal his hat. Kirby style.
TheNewGuy03 29
85, :( Personally, I would ask the neighbor to "show [his] moves," and after he inevitably fails, then you can gleefully exclaim "YES!" while flexing your muscles. Alternately, you can get down on one knee, all while yelling and gesturing for him to "come on!" and hope for the best. Seriously, though, if you threaten dudes with legitimate legal shit, then they tend to cower up like a sheet of balled-up college-ruled notebook paper. That will get him to release the Krak ... er, package. If not, proceed with plan C, that is, get the motherlover thrown in the clink. |the kid|
Isoldael 27
One of my snake hatchlings was named falcon punch after he falcon punched himself right out of his egg. Does it count if OP throws it at his neighbour's face while screaming "falcon punch"?
KVKdragon 26
That's theft of personal property that you paid for. Call the police, call a lawyer, and reap the benefits of getting your phone back and showing the world how stupidly moronic your neighbor is. It's great entertainment to watch people get publicly humiliated for their stupidity (unless it's yourself of course) ;)
Jumpingmal2 7
You could easily use it against him. Drop a fake package off at his door and write your name and adress on it so he thinks it was for you. And inside you could put whatever you want... like fill it with dog shit or something stupid like that. I doubt he will ever take another one of your packages
onlychildFTW 34
Why would the mailman do that? Here in Canada they leave a note saying you can pick it up from the post office.
freshlybreezy 15
That's what they do in the USA too.
ManInTheMachine 20
OP should be grateful Fed-Ex man didn't pay a suprise visit.
evilplatypus 39
21 - If the neighbor is out front they'll let them sign for it (UPS, at least. FedEx drops the boxes and runs like the package is on fire). My neighbor and I sigh for each other's stuff all the time.
pdp_fml 21
The postman in America would leave a note to pick up your package from the nearest post office.
Isoldael 27
OP is from the Netherlands, dropping off packages at your neighbours is common practice here.
emmaweeee 0
Wait until he's not looking then throw your old brick of a phone at your neighbor's head run into their house grab the package and haul ass
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like a fool proof plan. Are you expecting the phone to knock out the neighbor in one hit? 'Cause I doubt that'll be the case. Unless, of course, it's a Nokia.
I_heart_sex 1
Why do you have your phone number in your profile?
Axipiter 24
Because she's not in the mood to tell the internet her life story, just her phone number. Unwise.
isaiaah 6
You know why? Cuz she's ******* awesome
Ajwc101 24
Call the police OP he can't legally do that. Sorry for your bad luck.
hashtagmaster 1
Why would he do that? Fml my mailman is so nice :) he gives treats to the dogs!
11mandy80 6
Mine does that too!! ( the dog treats )
ManInTheMachine 20
Thanks for sharing! Aw shit, just read your profile name. Brace yourself, a shit storm is ahead. Maybe not now. But eventually...
TheDrifter 24
If he really is a hashtag master he will know better than to use them on fml right?
ManInTheMachine 20
Let's hope so, TheDrifter. Let's hope so...
ly0ntamer 1
#hashtagsare4pussiesandwannabestart'nsumthinwanksters!
thatoneguy79 10
77) You were saying?
Axipiter 24
When did it evolve from a "number sign" or a "pound sign" to a "hashtag"? I'm not being sarcastic, I seriously want to know.
hsRoseTyler5 14
127-Nobody ever calls it an octothorpe...
hama806 19
Call your cell carrier to notify them your phone was stolen. Then the police. He can get arrested for stealing another's mail/package. I think it's a federal crime. Good luck!
BrokenBoyx 0
LOL!
slipmaster 6
i feel so bad for you man, neighbours can suck sometimes