Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML
Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
imchacon22 19
Ignorant people
WompWompWomp123 7
Tell him, "Not only do I have feelings, I have super powers as well!"
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Comments (198)
hobodude34 5
I should probably comment on the FML itself but I'm too busy laughing at "barnacle". Nice job.
coklara 15
I can tell your gay because you said barnacle...
HybridJayJay 5
I hate your kind you filthy gay...
SailorSolaris 43
I hate people like that. I'm not gay, I'm straight, but I've always seen gay people as just people. I don't care if someone's gay, bi, straight, or a freakin' alien! People are people!
rkdstp1995 25
the fact that you called him a barnacle makes you literally my new favorite person
seventhejellyman 12
I feel your pain
Winterfell_fml 8
I know the feels
RageWolf16 31
This FML wins the insult contest. I will now call all my idiotic peers "barnacles".
Sarcasam137 5
Bitch Slap that stupid shit!
meeeeep7 6
I really hope he was just uneducated about gay people.