Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
One man and his lawn
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Top comments
rldostie 19
While I have nothing against shaving, and do so myself, I DO have a problem with men who expect or demand it. Really? Do you guys know how much of a hassle it is or what happens if you don't maintain it? A girl should only do it if she wants to. I wonder how guys would feel if all women expected and demanded they shave down south as well.
dynky 3
what a complete asshole! don't get into shaving, you'll regret it once the skin gets all dry and irritated, and oh god the ITCHING when it starts growing back. Get a guy who has more respect for you.
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Comments (78)
perdix 31
He's such a cunning linguist you should get a Brazilian.
sparky831 0
hey dats not a bad thing every1 prefers a nice clean one even i handle my business! where not in da 70s anymore get wit da times
SatansGoddess 0
Hahaha!!! You're hairy!! xD
zabava 0
On second thought, maybe you should have just told him your FML name, he might have gotten the hint you like "minet poilu". And why do all FML hygiene posts from from Europe? Must be that free health care. Eau de toilette !
perdix 31
Because I wasted my turn on "cunning linguist."
buttshapedfruit 0
ew! that's disgusting if you don't shave. your junk is cleaner wen u shave. nd ydi u *****
babyboo1592 0
dey say it's healthier when it's hairier.
steveol 0
SHAVE!!!!! this isn't the 70's no one likes that shit
bigpapi210 0
I got a weed wacker and goggles OP. may I have the honors?
linamerri 0
hahahahhahaha
sugarbabyxoxo 2
shave that shit!
ladybrava17 0
sexual innuendo...Hahahaha shave!!!!