Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward two hours of my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
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Top comments
poloisbored 7
You could ask her to teach you, that way you'd spend much more time together.
DocBastard 40
You should feel even worse because "come biking with me" clearly meant "come **** my brains out, big boy." Learn to read between the lines, son.
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Comments (166)
perdix 31
Get one of those bike trailers and let her pull you around. 1. You'll get to spend alone time with her. 2. It'll be a great workout for her. 3. You'll get to stare at her ass. YWIA. You can thank me by naming your first kid after me.
Catkam623 27
I'm not sure how OP's gonna take the training wheels off her since she obviously wanted to be the bike.
whY402Jay 12
I bet she would've thought it was cute and liked you even more. Sometimes vulnerability with stuff like that is a good thing.
robokid777 4
get her to teach you it will get you much closer
BostonBear 33
It's never to late to learn. Plus if she teaches you then you get to spend more time with her
DudeEvil 22
Such beautifully disturbing imagery; I got shivers in my spine.
cheymann 4
Obviously you have no game! You could have just been honest and said " I dot know how to ride a bike, I would love for you to teach me" instead your decided to turn her down! You must be homosexual!!
theycallmekitty 13
Hopefully she's a better teacher than my mom who thought the best way to learn was to put us on the bike and send us down a hill.
IworkAt711 14
Dont worry OP, if a dumbass like me could learn at the age of 5 I'm sure you could learn pretty quickly.
TheNewGuy03 29
Indeed ... it might be awkward, but it seems like this is one of the cases in which raw, uncut honesty does the trick nicely.