Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DrunkDave89 0
Rookie mistake.
dudeitsdanny 10
It was well-deserved. Next time you try to scam someone out of some vodka, try paying attention in chemistry class.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
GFLiE 0
Sucks bro.
White667 0
YDI, never water down vodka, that's just cruel.
sparkIy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#12- you're an idiot. read it again. he drank the vodka & refilled it with water. he didn't water it down.
Enummoc 10
#57- Exactly. So by taking the vodka and refilling the original bottle with water, OP is watering down the vodka in the original bottle (which is cruel). Learn to think.
asianpo 0
that same exact shit happened to me!!!!!!!
redsox4021 0
#57 u ******* dumb shit he refilled what he drank with water if he replaced the whole thing they could easily notice it's water
pippymiskers 4
it's not as if they would put the water in the vodka bottle while vodka was still in there. although that could have been the matter if they knew vodka doesn't freeze and filled it up with water anyway.
Anubyte 0
The parents would have noticed soon enough anyway, freezing or no...
JulzKay 0
Hahaha, YDI.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Go buy ur own...oh wait you can't!
DrunkDave89 0
Rookie mistake.
MaryMo_fml 0
Seconding this.
owlowl 0
dumbarse.
Rakshasa23 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
DUMBASS I mean seriously, you couldn't have at least tried a little bit???? Just put salt into the water next time, or use rubbing alcohol to refill it, as long as you make sure no one drinks it
Tahinabro 0
someones obviously gonna drink it
greenltrn2003 0
the **** would he use it for, decoration? if thats the case, just say **** it and down the whole thing. which is what OP should have done.
claireful 4
if he's been taking a little over a period of time, putting rubbing alcohol in it wouldn't make sense because then he wouldn't be able to keep taking some; it would've been a one time thing. think before you post.
dudeitsdanny 10
It was well-deserved. Next time you try to scam someone out of some vodka, try paying attention in chemistry class.
lyndis_fml 0
If I were your parents, I would be more pissed about you ruining the vodka than I would be about you drinking it. I'd rather drink an ounce of vodka than half a bottle of watered-down swill.
YayAmerica 0
Yeah, I didn't realize that that's what he was saying. Agreed. At least take it all, OP. You're getting in the same trouble.
renaet 0
Yeah OP is just a ****** prick. >:[
floon_fml 13
Well that seems a little harsh to call someone a "prick" over their Fml. This could be a 14 yr old kid for all you know. I used to love reading the comments section, as most commenters were fairly understanding and just wanted to have a good laugh at someone else's misfortune! Now it seems like the site is full of bullies who want to name call, and start stupid arguments over facts that no one other than OP can verify. Come on people.
flashback.miss 28
dude.... ydi.... so hard.. The hunt is still on Here in Gorkiy Park I’m in Danger Zone Everywhere is pitch dark I’m running away To a blanket of snow “Spy 1 to Spy 4 I’ve deciphered the code” VODKA that’s the secret word VODKA and they want it so bad VODKA I’ve deciphered the code Got a rush in the head VODKA A transparent word Na zdarovye!- -Na zdarovye! Cold blood drums within They breathe down my neck Spy 1 to Spy 4 we just have to connect Their footsteps are near Closing in for the kill My pulse has gone dead With a heart-racing chill VODKA that’s the secret word VODKA and they want it so bad VODKA I’ve deciphered the code Got a rush in the head VODKA A transparent word
makino_fml 2
Even if the bottle did not freeze, they will figure out what you have been doing all this time when they taste it. Why ruin the entire bottle when you could have left them at least half (or whatever was left that you have not drank) of some water-free vodka?
flashback.miss 28
this(14) ^^ makinky knows whats up right?