Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I had way too much to drink at a work picnic and started crying at about my ex, who cheated on me, while sitting on top of a slide at a playground. FML
Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML
Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
At least tell us you wore protection! You don’t want a call in nine months informing you that you have saplings.
Dave_Davington 34
Stupid sexy trees.
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Comments (18)
Dave_Davington 34
Stupid sexy trees.
exileonmainst 16
It's like they're wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all.
acmariner99 25
When’s the wedding?
inappropes 31
At least you aren't a birtchy drunk.
Tripartita 45
At least tell us you wore protection! You don’t want a call in nine months informing you that you have saplings.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Now that's what I call having wood!
Lobby_Bee 18
Can't say I haven't thought about it myself, mother nature is one sexy MILF.
exileonmainst 16
Do want ents? Because this is how you get ents!
lexos 16
Did it end in a treesome?
Glowworm56 27
I know Groot is a fan favorite, but this is just ridiculous!
longnight83 9
"That wasn't a woman?" "No, it was a bush! It had twigs and leaves, 'cause it was a bush!" "That's where that scar comes from!" "From sexing a bush!"