Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
juturnaamo 29
She recently died in s car accident. Some dick cut her off.
Shamandalie89 32
Some crazy bitch who chopped off her husband's penis.
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Comments (178)
royr7395 30
You sound whipped OP...
iAlissa 34
I mean, if having an issue with a significant other due to rude comments is called being "whipped" then yeah. You're right.
royr7395 30
I was referring to the fact that he wasn't able to stand up to her ? especially for her very obvious remark towards her husband
Taylor22294 24
Just saying let me tell you I'll cut your face off, I guarantee you'd be taking me on that same date.
metalcrazed 21
She is threatening and mentally abusing you,please consider getting free of her before she goes through with her threats.
syed121417 22
I hate it when people define good by material things. Why does she need to go to an unnecessarily expensive restaurant and if she wants to go so bad, I suggest that she pay for it. That what my boyfriend and I do- for example, if I recommend a place or movie and the he agrees to go just based on that, I would surely pay. We go Dutch for everything else and the same should apply here. But keep an eye on some of here tendencies or things she says from now on, OP. Sorry you had to waste money.
Enslaved 38
Remind her that she went to jail for a loooong time and he became a **** star. (After getting his pecker sewn back on of course)
GunSlinger69 19
Actually Lorena didnt go to jail, which is the sad thing..
Enslaved 38
Dang you're right! That shit's crazy! I was thinking about Catherine Kieu Becker who was the one that went to jail. She also cut her husband's penis off but she put in the garbage disposal and hit on!
weveallbeenthere 30
owwwwwwww.
TheInquisitor 3
Women almost never go to jail for assaulting or raping men.
interesting33 37
i think it is good she didn't go to prison. It was classified as a moment of insanity, she had PTSD from the abuse and depression. She had been physically and verbally abused for a long time before then. She had apparently also been raped several times by him. I think it is good she didn't go to prison.
EnchantingCurse 0
Exactly. Everyone's so quick to focus on what she did to him because men are so sentimental about their dicks, yet she suffered abuse and rape and cheating at the hands of this man and that's supposed to be okay? In that circumstance i don't blame her for what she did. He was a ******* asshole.
buckdharma 38
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?
rhysfucker 24
I'll bite....what did he say?
Johnnycake23 42
You gonna eat that?
buckdharma 38
Umm, are you gonna eat that?
lux0rd 18
That sounds like a really unhealthy relationship. It sounds like you might need to get out or at the very least therapy OP.
aylind 18
I'm sorry OP, you've got a crazy wife. It's just a damn restaurant, she needs to get her head out of her ass.
dragoongirl90 34
What a psycho bitch! I think it's time to look up "divorce."
weveallbeenthere 30
your whipped. no restaurant is with breaking the bank over.