Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
juturnaamo 29
She recently died in s car accident. Some dick cut her off.
Shamandalie89 32
Some crazy bitch who chopped off her husband's penis.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
annalily5 28
If she's making threats to bully you into doing things you don't want to do, it's time to seriously consider a divorce and a restraining order.
Dcm210 19
Divorce and run.
Tripitaka 21
FYL... Why do you put up with that crap? Next time, tell her to look up Scott Peterson
ajs1987 15
I can't tell you what you should do because every relationship is different, but I wouldn't put up with that if I were you. We wouldn't have gone to the restaurant, and I think I'd probably stay at a friend's house for a few days, at the very least. I might even leave her.
Caelophile 8
Your wife sounds sexist.
ShenaniganNinja 20
So your wife threatened to cut off your penis over something as trivial as an expensive restaurant? That sounds like a complete deal breaker to me. Okay, time to lawyer up and file a police report. But don't leave the house cause that could be considered abandonment and then you won't get any of it in a divorce preceding.
thewife5 19
Sounds like you're scared to death of your wife.. That is not healthy. She shouldn't want to eat at a new restaurant that was out of your price range if she was a normal adult. You have issues buddy, good luck!
thatkiwiguy 13
Run you dumb shit! RUN!!!!
teamkakashi 18
my name is lorena :')
fantasyworld 39
You shouldn't be scared of your wife.