Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
juturnaamo 29
She recently died in s car accident. Some dick cut her off.
Shamandalie89 32
Some crazy bitch who chopped off her husband's penis.
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Comments (178)
TheInquisitor 3
YDI for not immediately getting out of the relationship. You are just asking for it staying with someone who threatens to cut your genitals off.
helloboyzder 13
she's a keeper m8
CaroAurelia 12
Uh... is she always like that? Not that that's an okay threat to make once, but if she's always like that, RUN RUN RUN.
laden_swallow09 35
Drop some LEGOS behind you, too!
minagiv 11
Wow. That was a pretty bitchy thing to do. I'm sorry, dude.
dhermz 17
What
GoogieWithers 25
Leave her. Make sure you leave when she is out, so all your bits are still attached!!!
janfleury 19
That is abusive. I'm so sorry.
hayeska24 5
YDI because you allow yourself to be treated like that.
GunSlinger69 19
So he deserves it because his wife is threatening to castrate him? ******* sexist piece of shit.
TaylorKopacz 13
You're taking everything so seriously. it's honestly hilarious. do you have some experiences you wanna share with the class?
gintwinsmoore 20
Relax...he deserves it because he should've checked that bitch a long time ago!!!! Has nothing to do with being sexist...he needs to grow a pair before she cuts them off!!!!
yerawizardlizzy 27
80, 92, 114 You all act like it's SOOOO easy to get out of an abusive relationship. It's not. It can be mentally/emotionally paralyzing sometimes when you try. And yes, that's my experience that I'm sharing with the class.
stargirl_95 24
Also, it can be dangerous to get out of an abusive relationship. Most people who are killed by abusive partners are killed after they leave because the abuser has that "if I can't have you no one can" attitude. Plus, abusers are really good at isolating their victims from friends and family leaving them with no one to turn to if they decide to leave. It's not easy
GunSlinger69 19
92, Okay, what if I was to say I find it HILARIOUS when men beat women and chop off their ****? It`s so funny huh?
Celfyndel 16
What a brat. If she wanted to go, she should pay. Not threaten you.
TaylorKopacz 13
I joke around with my boyfriend with threats all the time, though never that severe. those who are saying to leave her, you don't have enough information on whether or not she was joking. plus if op was a gentleman he would pay anyway, as my boyfriend never let's me pay for meals (though I do anyway).
henrylikestreats 22
So OP isn't a "gentleman" because he didn't want to spend money on an overly expensive restaurant once? Maybe and OP's wife would get along. You both sound stuck up.
limabeans101029 21
91- That's ridiculous. Why should the guy always have to offer to pay for the whole thing? Surely the logical thing to do would be to go half and half, that's what me and my boyfriend do. It's not fair that one partner should have to pay for every meal in order to be "a gentleman". Also "my boyfriend never let's me pay for meals (though I do anyway)" makes no sense.