Anonymous
Seattle, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Anonymous
I don't know my strength
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Korisite
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
._.
Letchworth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Who1s269
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Username
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
cap
Manhattan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
2 Accommodating
🌶️ Spicy
Coupon time!
Today, my wife crushed my cell phone with a heavy plate. She offered to pay for it in sex, which I eagerly accepted. When I asked her for “a downpayment” an hour later, she looked at me like she’d accommodated this arrangement for far too long already. FML
Top comments
lordtumbles 9
Obviously, the concretes not as hard as you!
zandalee 20
Go buy a sexy red man-g-string, put a red rose between your teeth and go lay on your bed. Good luck.
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Comments (134)
Fuzzynavel 10
Put the bitch to work!
zandalee 20
She is already... Busting up concrete & avoiding all eye contact.
IsisChaos 1
That can be arranged... Hahaha
s0ulslack 20
Put her fat ass out to the curb, dick runs shit... not pussy ;)
MissMae93 23
Beg to differ. Your mother gave birth to you, therefore your "dick" could not, as you say, "run shit" without your mother's vaginal region doing it's thing first.
menacingsprite 3
This kind of drivel only comes out of rapists.
akou616 3
Bust her up on the concrete. Problem solved.
linkinpark98 24
Just play some Marvin Gaye and show her the way to the bedroom that you've pre-lit with scented candles. She'll give in! No one can turn this down!
brackaman 18
Tell that to the girl from the other fml. Her house burned for that very reason
brandy1 5
Sounds like you need to either bust up your marriage or her pussy. Since the pussy is apparently out, looks like the marriage has got to go. Sorry OP.
MissMae93 23
Yes, divorce is ALWAYS the answer since marriage means nothing in this day and age! Perhaps it's OP's fault that the wife is never in the mood?
brandy1 5
Come on. Never in the mood. Why the hell is she still married to him if she's not attracted to him. She's probably a gold digger. He should dump her ass!
raraisbang 12
95, you are either a child or have no respect for the sanctity of marriage. Really? Dump her? FYL for being so immature. It's highly likely that the reason OP isn't getting any is because of something he did. most women aren't so cold and cruel for no reason. Don't assume that just because she doesn't want to have sex with him that she's a piece of shit wife. For all you know she's had a horrible day and he hurt her feelings previous to her saying that.
Albarufus 13
Counseling time!
3rdbass 9
I guess she misunderstood. The expression is to cut a rug but ok.
challan 19
I say, get a large concrete slab, put on a pair of sexy ripped jeans and boots (no shirt), grab a sledge hammer and get sexy sweaty in front of her. Doesn't work, treat her sweetly and romantically all day long, occasional pats on the ass and tossing out the compliments... Some women need 24 hour foreplay. Still doesn't work, you need to throw out an ultimatum of counseling or divorce. Until then... Grab the lube and go to town.
sprinklecakes 4
I think there is more to the story. Like she had to finish the work around the house (busting up concrete for repairs or a remodel) and you wanted to have sex when she was busy.