Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
OP and wife fought OP went downstairs to couch OP's wife grabbed spoon Spoon can be used to hurt people OP afraid
SilentTreatment 7
Well since OP isn't sleeping in the same bed with her, she probably wanted something to spoon with! :P
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Comments (131)
Jasonf6 0
Why is it that when a man and a woman have a fight it's the man who sleeps on the couch?
kaykay20 0
The woman has more control in the relationship and the guy may feel at fault or just unwilling to settle the issue choosing to submit to being on the couch verse talking it out and sleeping in the same bed. Either way it's puts a lot of strain on their relationship.
GypsyRover 0
I sure as hell don't sleep on the couch!! If she wants me on the couch,I'll get another woman,and she can get out!
rubberduckie94 13
ydi for going to the couch. your a man not a dog.
live2swim 5
Haha probably for a tub of ice-cream :)
sjhill 32
What's your wife going to do with a spoon? Just be happy it wasn't a spork or a knife
EmperorHilo 11
Man up, apologize and try to make amends of the situation
EvilDave 13
Why should he apologize? A real man doesn't apologize unless he is wrong. Looks like you believe men are always wrong in these situations. I am guessing you are a self-hating male feminista.
DocBastard 40
...or he's just a smart man who knows how to pick his battles. If my wife is wrong (which is RARE) but continues to argue, she knows she's wrong. If I end up apologising, we both STILL knows she's wrong, but the fight is over and we can move on with our lives. Diplomacy goes a long way in a marriage. If you really insist on being right all the time, you won't get far.
KiddNYC1O 22
Lorenaaa...
perdix 31
Don't worry, it's not you that is going to be receiving the pounding from the spoon. After a good night with Steely Dan, your fleshy, little penis will not be good enough to get you back in the bedroom. Just go meekly to work to support your wife and her ferrous boyfriend.
claudzzzz 5
bahahahaha this is great! be afraid,be very afriad
icic6772 0
Spoons hurt more than knives.