Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
OP and wife fought OP went downstairs to couch OP's wife grabbed spoon Spoon can be used to hurt people OP afraid
SilentTreatment 7
Well since OP isn't sleeping in the same bed with her, she probably wanted something to spoon with! :P
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Comments (131)
melita777 1
What can she do with spoons??
deadman93 8
lots of things melita! she can spoon with it, gouge out OPs eyes, jam it up places we dont wanna discuss, beat the shit out of him, erotically beat the shit out of him, or eat ice cream....but i personally think shes gonna eat a big ass bowl lucky charms!
LezBiHonest 7
Ha she's gonna "spoon" em
mustardcat 1
Someone's getting spooned tonight
underguarded 20
Seriously ; It's a SPOON. if you are That scared of a Spoon. I can't imagine how afraid you are of a Fork.
mattmadden 0
It's not just any spoon. It's a BIG SPOON.
marisadc79 0
You're scared of a spoon and a woman, FYL indeed lol
kaykay20 0
Whoa no matter how big of a fight you shouldn't bring blunt objects into it. Talk it out together in a calm manner and settle the issue. Should never go to bed angry.
live2swim 5
Never go to bed early..... Stay awake and plot your revenge :P
alc0227 9
#34_hahaha! Very clever! :-)
dartzli 3
Maybe it's for the ice cream... Maybe? Or not... Good luck. :]
itsame0987 18
What did you do or say to her op?
herpitydurteedur 0
I'll cut your heart out with a rusty spoon! But why not a knife? It's dull, you idiot, it'll hurt more!
GypsyRover 0
Twit,not idiot. Never the less,it is a good flick. Take care. :-)