Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
OP and wife fought OP went downstairs to couch OP's wife grabbed spoon Spoon can be used to hurt people OP afraid
SilentTreatment 7
Well since OP isn't sleeping in the same bed with her, she probably wanted something to spoon with! :P
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Comments (131)
Goobian 3
lol looks like something I would do. Grab a spoon that is. Not to actually use it but just to freak the other person out.
jabfinch 9
You Look like you could do damage without a spoon.
batman_516 9
Why is it always the guy who sleeps on the couch? Equality my ass.
Enslaved 38
Why is it that a guy can fall asleep at the drop of a hat? Me? I can't sleep if I've been in an argument hours later! Lol
rubberduckie94 13
my husband and i our both so stubborn niether of us ever sleep on the couch. i dont care how mad we get at each other. we both refuse to give up comfort cause one or the other is acting like a bastard/bitch.
boardforlife 0
**** girls and their power struggle I hope one day shit goes back to how it's supposed to be... Males on top females not even noticed unless we want the pussy
batman_516 9
You good sir, are a tool.
AliceIsCurious 6
She's probably going to use said spoon to cook up a fatty shot of heroin...that's what I would do if I was ticked off!
FYLDeep 26
She's going to scoop you out.
IndigoAcrylic 9
"SPANKYY TIME, HONEYY >;D Ooh you've been a naughtyy naughty boy! Nghhhh uhh yaaa WHOPWHOPWHOP!"
ibitehard 9
Ohmigawd. I LOVE you
diana199418 0
Haha wow yur weird. (that's a good thing) ;D
Miouya 0
Ha nice XD
lizzieislovely 11
Oooh dear. Always be afraid when a woman picks up a spoon.
mdtdnb 7
She'll be down later after you're asleep to grab a tub of ice cream!
Ozone1232 5
Protect your eyes and watch your back. For they may be gouged out.
midnightmoonster 2
She's just going to spoon herself. Don't worry too much, OP!
ramboman19 8
Why is it always the husband that gets the damn couch?!