Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized why my wife starts so many arguments lately. I vent by angry-cleaning. She pisses me off on purpose so she doesn't have to do any chores. FML
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML
Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Or a vegan. Or a religious nut. Or a YouTube/Social Media user. Or a woman. Or a man. Or anyone, really. And if anyone reading this tries to argue with me, know that my rebuttal is always delivered by my fists.
engineerosaurus 26
Think this is less about “lawyer” and more about “psychopath”.
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Comments (24)
Cali 57
OP should just plead the 5th!
Spiritbird 17
Take her to any ethnic restaurant and pay the staff to just piss her off badly. As soon as she utters something racist(which she'll) record it on your phone. Now just blackmail her whenever she tries to pull any lawyery on you. xD
ThatGuy9679 13
that's quite a leap you made there
Spiritbird 17
That means you havent read THAT fml news item. This is similar to that one.
Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey 16
There's a reason lawyers are called blood sucking parasites
Davros 12
Next time tell her you've changed occupations and become a hitman.
Lobby_Bee 18
What did you expect marrying someone who chooses to argue as a profession?
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Thanks for the advice :)
WeirdUS 30
Yeah, bad move man. They will use that against you even if it wasn't for their amusement. How long did you guys date for? I'm asking because I've dated 2 women that liked to argue and I found that about a year in and called it quits with the relationship a bit later once I saw it was part of their personality and a regular thing.
WeirdUS 30
Yeah, bad move man. They will use that against you even if it wasn't for their amusement. How long did you guys date for? I'm asking because I've dated 2 women that liked to argue and I found that about a year in and called it quits with the relationship a bit later once I saw it was part of their personality and a regular thing.
ARISKomuniszt 24
I do the exact same to my family, friends and teachers. I think you can call us "verbal sadists" or something ;)