Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
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Top comments
Trapped_in_a_Box 0
how do you accidentally sit on a trohpy? isn't big enough for you to notice it?
lolz_ydi 1
dumbass
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Comments (175)
alyssaax3 0
mooroon
omgitzkayla 0
moroooon sorry I just thought I'd add to the creative comments above me.
20waffleater10 0
behold it is I, waffleater10 but I have died and came back as a little bit nicer comment leaverer!
c420racer 13
**** your life?? **** your entire team's life. Not only did you break the trophy but if anyone else wants to hold it they would be touching your nasty ass's blood. Ew
20waffleater10 0
don't you mean you want him to stop being perverted?
x3herox3 0
Anal'd by throphy.
justsayfuck 5
Yes you are, but I don't know for how long. I'm sorry to say this but you are doing a terrible job. I mean, until last night, how many people did you screw over? None! You are a failing hooker, I'm sorry.
Igor_g5 0
What an idiot.
Action_Bastard 0
Umm...interesting
Dallaspickle24 0
Haha gag!