Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
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Top comments
cocoshake 16
report him for stalking
julianbozikovic 20
Keep doing it in front of him and when the cops come he'll look like an idiot! That'll be a good laugh :D
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Comments (119)
FitFriday 32
Thundercunt *chuckles to oneself* I'm so using this
HeyImAmy 20
I hope you told, and showed, the police that it's just insulin. I mean, you can prove that you don't do drugs so the next thing a police officer looks at is the fact that someone called 911 reporting you for drug use. How would your neighbor know you were injecting something if he/she wasn't spying on you? I hope your neighbor didn't get away with spying on you.
brandoneyez1 25
Thundercunt... Lmao that's epic.
momogal 22
I would plant thorny bushes or stinging nettles in front of my windows.
MikeFletch 11
"Thundercunt"
Dinders 16
As another fellow diabetic, I fully sympathize with you. Sorry your neighbor is such an ignorant creep!
mightyxmidget 10
These are typical #diabeticprobs. They thought me and my bf were always shooting up in school. Which we were...it was just insulin
concend_blk_guy 8
Thundercunt . That is just great
alexandrarae 13
MOVE! Even if we ignore the fact the guys is a total rumour creating thundercunt of a douche, he's a peeping tom and that shit ain't cool. Get yourself outta there before things get worse.
cassiebucaro99 12
Thundercunt? ?