Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I watched a movie my old teacher recommended me. She was one of my favourite teachers. I saw the title, opened it, and found out that the premise is racist towards my ethnic group. She marked me harshly. FML
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
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Top comments
spazztcat16 0
neither will I.... oh god
IsaacYorkHawk 0
Wow. If she is a woman, I feel sorry for her husband. Must be a disaster down there.
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Comments (144)
saranottelling 7
Ewww... The worst part about reading this FML is that my very old grandfather loves the shrek movies. Now everytime he says, "I love Shrek!" or, "I'm going to see Shrek!" I'll be thinking of this.
darkblue_13 0
or worse... never again will you be able to have sex
Maddoctor 10
Lol it'll be like ******* Shrek's head.
curryndricegirll 0
ahahaha! eww!
ihatebunnys2 0
is that even possible?
Laxloverr24 0
this is an MLIA.
yumnori 0
I'm assuming she compared it to the uterus and ovaries, not the ******... making this not gross at all (not that I think the ****** is gross anyway). It's like comparing Shrek's head to the stomach, heart, or liver. Not gross.
goonie85 0
I laugh at ovaries all the time. No biggie. Shrek just got a whole lot funnier to me....
MisterZzyzx 0
Bahaha, that's hilarious. Now I'll laugh whenever I see a picture of Shrek.
hot_mess88 0
I feel ya, man. My freshman bio teacher decided to sing "Just Keep Swimming" while describing the journey that sperm takes to get to the egg... It's been 7 years and I still can't watch Finding Nemo without giggling.
Tigg3r 3
oh god...now I can't watch Finding Nemo!!! Eh, I'll watch Finding Emo instead!
cherylface 13
Finding Emo? That seems easy. Just look next to the hair products and razorblades.
SeeBrendenBurn 0
Now I desire to have sex with Shrek's head... hmm. Well, more so than usual, I mean.
killurbeer 0
ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!