Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I watched a movie my old teacher recommended me. She was one of my favourite teachers. I saw the title, opened it, and found out that the premise is racist towards my ethnic group. She marked me harshly. FML
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
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Top comments
spazztcat16 0
neither will I.... oh god
IsaacYorkHawk 0
Wow. If she is a woman, I feel sorry for her husband. Must be a disaster down there.
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Comments (144)
royboh 0
It also looks like the car manufacturer Dodge's trademark emblem.
ThatsSoRaven 0
Oh, that's SO RAVEN.
The_Disturbed 5
Which movies? Shrek? Or ****? :P Now every time you go to get laid, you're just going to see Shrek's head popping out from between her legs xD
ap420 0
WOW.... this FML just proves out immature you are, what are you 12 years old...
teaset 0
dick move, teacher.
ChaplainNinja 0
What happens when you hear the voice of Mike Myers? Oh and at least Donkey wasn't involved...
MandyPandy 4
How old are you? Cause at my school (kindergarten to end of high school), we started learning about that stuff in 4th, and finished learning about that stuff in 6th
Americunt 0
I wish I could suck your jingle bells.
Sugarlips_xo 0
wow your life is soooooooooooooooo f*cked
femmeixifatality 0
You're never getting laid. Ever.