Today, I found out why my son has been working out and taking martial arts classes. It was so he could beat his stepbrother up and put him in the hospital, as revenge for stealing his secret cash supply, over £4000. I'm too old and too tired for this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son warned me that unless I get his older brother to stop picking on him, he’d do it himself. I didn’t take it seriously, until I got home from work to find he'd had beaten his brother unconscious. His justification was that he's warned me he’d "do it himself.“ FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, not only is my son a bully, but he's dumb enough to bully a kid whose parents both do martial arts. His mom is a cage fighter and his step-dad is a kickboxer. They're both huge, terrifying, and pissed off. FML
Today, I apparently didn’t teach my son the difference between defending himself from bullies and knocking out the bully's teeth, breaking his nose, cracking his ribs, and grinding his fingers under his boot until the bone splintered. Yes, the cops are involved and my ex-wife blames me, of course. FML
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I found out my son is getting bullied. His stepdad doesn’t care, in fact he’s all for bullying because he thinks it will force my son to stop being smart, or "a dork" as he calls him, and fit in with the normal kids for a change. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
I mean did you and your spouse actually do anything about the theft or expected him to just accept it?
core01 30
Sounds like they worked it out
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Comments (6)
Crowned Sataness 12
I mean did you and your spouse actually do anything about the theft or expected him to just accept it?
core01 30
Sounds like they worked it out
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did you know the younger brother took that money? If not, FYL. If so, YDI.
RichardPencil 32
So dumb. It'll take years to learn enough martial arts to beat someone up. They could just buy a gun and get revenge quickly and easily. Oh, I hope your kid doesn't read FML.
Korrie32 2
You’d rather jail time than assault charges/jail time. Murder can be life in prison depending on the situation. Fists works perfectly fine, and you can use them more than once
DirtySalamander 9
he loves prison. it's a harem for him.
sdj215 22
Respect for your son.
FluffythePink 23
Smells like a Parenting Fail to me.