uterurist
Saint Paul, United States
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Omar Khalaf
Wham!
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Anonymous
Sunnyvale, United States
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
mama bear
Fight Club Penguin
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
littlemiss
Whitby, Canada
Affectionate, huh?
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Amanda
Canada
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Bratty son
Los Angeles, United States
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Anonymous
United States
Fighting fit
Today, my son was getting jumped by four boys. My daughter came outta nowhere like freakin John Cena and started rag dolling those little punks. Instead of being thankful and grateful that his sister saved his ass, he decided to complain that she made him look like weak. FML
Anonymous
Morganville, United States
Not now
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Top comments
Narayan96 13
Troll child
fatkidfalling 11
Ahh, siblings and their keen interests in watching the world burn...
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Comments (32)
Foxrabbit 9
I hope he was punished for that.
DLBL 23
Oh man, and strangers will believe it. Even though kids (and all people) lie all the time, suddenly, if it's something they want to believe, the kid is Speaking God's Only Truth.