Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML
Today, despite my warnings, my mother continues to go see my ex's son and encourage her to get more child support from me. They both say that because I signed the birth certificate, that makes that baby mine. I don't think he is, and I'm currently with someone else, with my first real son on the way. FML
Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that even after having had my tubes tied, I am in fact pregnant. I have an 8-month-old son and his father just remarried another woman 2 months ago. Neither of them believe that the new baby is his. FML
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Top comments
MariaGiovanni 25
Let me get this straight. Your child believes that his father knocked some other woman up, then stole the embryo/fetus, implanted it into you and you raised the child as your own with your unfaithful husband and pretended nothing happened? Sounds plausible.
Memeosaurus 14
And what gave him this idea?
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Comments (99)
baken101 12
Ha host mother. That's really funny actually.
bandaidstations 28
I doubt a small child would think of this. I'd imagine the son is a teenager or older.
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
Is that even possible? Sounds like a job for Mythbusters!!
olillia 16
#51 I don't know what dumb kids you know, but yes they're smart enough to come up with a wild story like this. A normal, smart child would think of this. An idiotic, abnormal teen would think of this.
DArthurVaderian 18
56 why would a small child know how egg fertilization works. That's a little more technical than most small children would be able to grasp
atlien247 16
Did he just watch the new X-Files episode?
zeffra13 31
Has he been watching a lot of Sci-fi shows? Or maybe just doesn't understand how pregnancy works? Because apparently he thinks you're part seahorse.
hotpinkcrayola 5
How old is he? If young then this is quite cute, if mid to late teens or older a genuine belief in such a thing might indicate a serious disorder such as schizophrenia. If there's even a small chance of that get him to the doctors.
Dilexar 26
Wonder where THAT thought came from... Sounds almost alien-like.
Guzziii 12
Creative kid.