Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
Delusional
Today, my sister has been going on and on about how sexy her new doctor is. She’s been plotting to fake an illness just to see him again. When I explained that doctors are professionals and even if he were interested it would be unethical for him to say so, she called me a fat, jealous loser. FML
Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML
Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML
Picture perfect
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML
Assumptions
Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the liposuction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML
The Candidate
Today, my sister-in-law announced she would like me to be her surrogate, so that her body doesn't look like a stretched wobbly mess after childbirth. Apparently, I'm a perfect candidate, as "we won't see a difference." FML
Top comments
sarkaar 30
Bitchslap her so hard that she needs a plastic surgeon for her face. And a dentist for her teeth. And a therapist for her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Welshite 40
Schedule an emergency appointment for her.
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Comments (54)
xKrisSmoove 21
Tell her go to the dentist cause Bitchteeth Syndrome is no joke
PenguinBitch 44
It takes one to diagnose one.
_kyleG_ 34
RBF, or Resting BitchFace, is untreatable, but easily managed when other people aren't assholes
dragoongirl90 34
I'd tell her that she needs a different kind of surgeon to remove the core of bitch inside her.
mimii00 10
Sisterly love. Nothing better ;)
royr7395 30
Wait? Does she know from experience?
Dvelazquez 16
sounded much funnier when I read it wrong the first time and thought it said "Birthface syndrome"
Setareh23 34
Tell her to go see a psychologist because Totalbitch Syndrome's no joke :)
ForeverJasmine 26
She loves you in her own way.. Sorry about the comment she told you though man that's hurtful :/
Louie_217 9
hahahaha that's funny