Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Forever solo
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
Pranking hell!
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
Bridezilla
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Not now
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
MY wedding, MINE
Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
Goof
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
Top comments
Kamazar 0
"The snickers won't stop leaping into my mouth. FML"
Vincenzo_fml 1
Being too heavy isn't always the result of being too fat, look at me, I'm 6' tall and about 230 lbs, but I also hit the gym anywhere from 4 - 6 times a week. Muscle has a higher density than fat, as such, it makes you heavier than you appear to be.
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Comments (112)
mandyc 0
YDI, not anyone else's fault that you're fat.
ffpoisongirl 0
#12 lol And really, like 1% of people are fat cuz of something genetic. Most people live sedentary lifestyles and don't eat right. I'm fat cuz I sit in front of my computer eating chips. Once I get my ass on a stairmaster and away from the junkfood, I'll be thinner.
chaya12 0
take a hint (diet)
WAxlRose 0
Lose weight?
lighttts 0
Wow, some people are just cruel. This person probably isn't even fat, it could have just been something that went wrong. Guys aren't the lightest people you know?
Lucicx0 0
this just disgusts me
kaizer_fml 0
#20, if the OP weighed a lot from having a lot of muscle, they would not have posted this as an FML.
fmlroxmysox2470 0
sorry but lol Mazel Tov!
Shadic 0
#15 - Because I'm not a lazy overweight person, I'm vain? Try "I sometimes bother taking care of my body." If you spent a quarter of the time you waste sitting around walking or something, you won't be nearly as heavy. I can't people who are militant about being overweight. Genetics may have something to do with it, but guess what? If you cared more, you wouldn't weigh so much.
tsslalalalala 0
hahaha, that happened to my sister at my bat mitzvah! dont feel bad, its normal. ive been to over 50 bnai mitzvot, and that happens a lot