Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
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Top comments
Kamazar 0
"The snickers won't stop leaping into my mouth. FML"
Vincenzo_fml 1
Being too heavy isn't always the result of being too fat, look at me, I'm 6' tall and about 230 lbs, but I also hit the gym anywhere from 4 - 6 times a week. Muscle has a higher density than fat, as such, it makes you heavier than you appear to be.
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Comments (112)
lemonseed 0
Sounds like someone needs to go on a diet...*cough cough* XD and I agree with number 9#.
Kamazar 0
"The snickers won't stop leaping into my mouth. FML"
cyberhoy 3
lose some muscle mass
crazy_bipolar 0
for all you ******* that have hourglass shape bodies that are complaining about "another fat fml", go stare in the mirror for a couple hours again. seriously. suck it up. and dude, that sucks im sorry. i can imagine how embarrising that would be... i'm jewish, and fat. thankfully i didnt have to do anything like that at my bar mitzvah.
chriz 0
You know what that means lay off the kosher meat hahaha
genius_man16 1
#15, no, i will not suck it up. Really, millions of people are fat, it's not like this guy is the only person on the planet. NOT an fml. At all.
jerkmotel 0
stop being fat!
bishmeala 0
At least you didn't get up there drunk and fall off like my friend's sister. Lmao.
Vincenzo_fml 1
Being too heavy isn't always the result of being too fat, look at me, I'm 6' tall and about 230 lbs, but I also hit the gym anywhere from 4 - 6 times a week. Muscle has a higher density than fat, as such, it makes you heavier than you appear to be.
NiCocaCola_fml 2
#19, why are you assuming the OP is a guy?