Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
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Top comments
Kamazar 0
"The snickers won't stop leaping into my mouth. FML"
Vincenzo_fml 1
Being too heavy isn't always the result of being too fat, look at me, I'm 6' tall and about 230 lbs, but I also hit the gym anywhere from 4 - 6 times a week. Muscle has a higher density than fat, as such, it makes you heavier than you appear to be.
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Comments (112)
omglyktotally78 0
#63....that is the stupidiest ******* response I've read on here....even if it's a joke....encouraging someone to have an eating disorder is all sorts of ****** up and can lead to many emotional and psychological problems. Epic fail #63. Nice job.
frootloop25 0
#64 I hope you never get married.
coachfoo 0
i like #15 :) that sucks, i think id be afraid of falling off the chair though...
evolveahimsa 0
**** your arteries dude. and don't be a social cost man, not cool.
clemsonfan92 0
sorry dude, that must've sucked
nomadxx7 0
For what it's worth that really sucks OP. Lose some weight, gain some self-esteem. I agree with a lot of people about the fat comments. I don't think many can claim that it's from genetics. My mother was a big girl when she was young and now weighs 110 lbs at the age of 50. So you can lose weight. The problem with today's society is that we eat too much high fat/high sugar meals/drinks, don't walk enough (aka sedentary) and don't get our heart rates up to burn calories. I watch those Discovery shows about the 1 ton man and stuff and get depressed. They say on average those types of people can eat 1 weeks worth of food (for an average adult) in one sitting. It's a compound problem. These FMLs taht are about fat people, the posters need to do something for themselves to get better/healthier/skinner. It's not a FML if you're actively (or more likely sedentarily) letting your life pass you by. Go to the gym, buy the P90X program, eat healthier, walk, buy a pedometer, buy a heart rate monitor, etc. There is really no reason Americans in general should be as obese as we are. It's cheaper and easier to go to McDs for a burger than to cook healthy food but just realize this... what you do to your body today effects your life in 5 - 10 years. Don't like where you're at? Well it will get worse in that short of a timeframe if you don't change. Oh and as for me calling the kettle black; I'm a 155 lb 6'2" dude that smokes and plays WoW. I have very few calories in the day (probably about 1000 - 1500) which is really one of the main reasons I'm skinnier than I should be.
Pepperolls 0
I like #15 too :3 #62, #34, etc, do you think that they should also stop approving the ugly FML's too? I mean "blah, get face surgery or something, right? Put some makeup on!" "I'm ugly. FML", that's what they should say. Just like go to the gym, get bulimia/anorexia, just like nobody gives a sh*t that you're fat because there's katillions of them. And who said the ones approving these are people who hate fat people? Stupid generalizations, extremely asinine.
geesquared 0
Well, mazel tov anyways! #16... I'm sure kosher meat is healthier, because we aren't stuffing bacon down our throats. (Well, I practice halal eating, which is close enough.)
mylifeisfuckeddd 0
lol. i remember once during a family friends bar mitzvah he was in the chair and one of the legs that the guys were holding it by fell off...you can only imagine how that turned out. and wow #71 very elaborate comment
_a_through_z 0
maybe she isn't fat. I know penty of people that are have like 50 pounds of muscle or something. This girl that's thin to the bone and not so tall weighs 140 pounds, she can lift a boulder, I swear.