Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I'm so lonely that I get happy when I get attention from car drivers when they honk at me for driving too slowly. FML
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML
Today, I was running late for a meeting and wound up getting stuck in traffic, which started to stress me out to the point of road rage at no one in particular. When I finally arrived, the meeting had been cancelled. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
A07 48
Am I the only one wondering how OP honks at the computer?
medic_man 13
it'll probably respond better than the idiots on the road!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
thatguy021 14
Try punching the keyboard, if you're lucky, you can get it to beep at you and get the same effect
OhFuck_WHYME 8
time to get a new processor?
MondRubberduck 24
If you want to see the true nature of your loved one, just sit him/her infront of a computer with a slow internet-connection and tell him/her to google something. And then enjoy the show... or run.
Chibi_Kitten 24
I will most definitely try that now. However, it would be wise to set a viewing camera so you can watch from a safe distance.
raspution 21
I take my rage out on people who honk.... by stopping my big rig and acting like I'm looking for what their honking at.
CaptainSmith28 19
What, do you just mash the keyboard with your hand?
SammyS2012 21
I believe you can be fined for that in the US as well, but if you can, it's not enforced.
kiaroxilles 8
Hey guys, OP here. First off I wasn't expecting this to get posted, so I'm excited it did. Secondly, I don't often go nuts at people while driving. I just tend to realize I get really stressed when I'm driving, especially when people are going well under the speed limit. It's rare I actually honk at people, but more and more often I'm highly tempted to before realizing there's no reason to. So now when our computers at work run slow (and trust me, they're RIDICULOUSLY slow) I got SO frustrated I must have subconsciously compared that stress to being stuck behind slow drivers, then realized I was actually tempted to HONK at the computer. When I realized what was running through my mind, I chuckled and thought it'd make a good FML, but wasn't expecting it to get approved. I enjoyed reading all your comments though, they made me laugh! FYI, I'm a girl. :P
Omniprism 15
I have road rage too. You're not alone. But I don't honk at people I just make hand gestures to get out if my way and call peoples douche bags.
middlenamefrank 8
In my experience, people who show a lot of rage, of any variety, feel that their lives are out of control in some way. That's extremely frustrating and can put anybody on edge. Take a look at your life: What thing(s) is(are) so out of control, and gets you so frustrated, that somebody else's minor idiocy makes you fly into a rage? It's not the traffic that's bothering you, that's just the trigger. Figure out what's really causing the anger in your life and stupid stuff that occurs every day won't be such an issue to you.
kiaroxilles 8
OP here again. #58 it's true I do get frustrated over the littlest things, but I've always been like that. Not gonna lie, it's been worse lately mainly because I'm a young person stuck at a highly stressful full-time job struggling to make money to pay my way through college. So yes, there are underlying issues in my life (I graduated in 2012, and I must say that taking a job straight out of high school really strikes the fear into you that you may never get to follow your dreams) that cause me to become very frustrated over things that most people would just shrug off. It's not to the point I'm mentally unstable or that I need counseling, it's just that I do oftentimes find myself mulling over things or getting upset about things most people don't. I posted this FML anonymously for a good laugh, never expecting it to be posted. It did though, so that was exciting. I've submitted several FML's throughout the years and this is the first to get posted. I think it's funny how into it people get through comments, though.
Chibi_Kitten 24
Yeah. I usually get road rage due to my dad stressing me out in the passenger's seat. He keeps yelling at me while I am learning to drive.
1947Chevy 17
I think that's probably a sigh to go take some classes on road rage.