Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Well, at least you made her laugh! Right?
slooby_fml 25
She's just preparing you for what a child will be like
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Comments (105)
addioty 19
Poor girl. Pregnancy makes you do crazy stuff (:
Boardacon 5
This is one of the more "out there" FMLs I've read
helen_ellexo 22
Then you're probably new to FML
Boardacon 5
Nope.
SlapAndTickle 20
Yeeees you are.
HeartOfLead 24
Don't get pissed off. Just console her.
thatonename 7
I was just think that if all he did to complain was write an FML, he's a pretty damn good husband. What else could you do but just laugh it off with her?
lolita88_fml 27
Awh the poor woman :( Good on you for comforting her though, I'm sure her accident really embarrassed her after however. It happens though, it's a shame but it happens. But well done for being supportive. :)
goolia 10
You sound like a fantastic husband, congrats on the kid!
deathposts 8
Still better then her getting pissed at you
Wizzlbang 10
Marriage is such a beautiful thing.
perdix 31
Urine possesion of a great story for your kid!
gracehi 33
Aw, she was crying about that poor chair you two neglect, wasn't she? I hope that's the chair you selected to sit in to comfort her. (old FML reference, for those wondering.)
toneeangel 22
Its kinda sweet in a weird way.