Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Well, at least you made her laugh! Right?
slooby_fml 25
She's just preparing you for what a child will be like
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Comments (105)
jessBeAqueen 13
hopefully you continued to comfort. it was a very sweet gesture. I'm sure she appreciated it.
Fiakealii 1
Um, you try not peeing randomly when your bladder is being smooshed to 1/4 its normal size :p
clh3031 6
Yep, watch out for sneezes and coughs as well, OP.
Korra_fml 23
awh thats so kind of u to comfort her. of course she was embarrassed... just be glad it was only a little pee, rather than having her water break on u. theres SO much more when that happens. pregnancy tends to be FULL of embarrassing moments, made worse when they are completely unexpected. trust me, if u had a baby bouncing on ur bladder, u'd accidentally pee too... even if somehow u didnt feel the need. don't know how far she is into the pregnancy, but other places will leak too (boobs)... so be prepared for that as well.
HockeyGirlLover 7
Well look at the bright side at least it was your wife that you love that peed on you and not a rhino :p congregations to you and your wife on the baby though :)
DLT_fml 20
Yes, many congregations! Especially after the baby is born and your family members wish to meet the little one. ;)
More_Leg 14
Sorry OP, it happens. And laughing is a way to cope with embarrassment. Just shake it off and pretend you don't mind even though it sucks. It'll all be worth it when you hold that baby in your arms the first time :) good luck!
doondagr8_1 9
That was nice of you, now you know what's coming when your baby is born
arroberts 10
Gotta love when people take the ideas of lesser beings who cannot string a sentence together well enough to have their FML posted. Good job, OP.
TheLonelyZerg 5
Sucks you got peed on but at least you made your wife laugh!
worldclassrager 41
Did the laugh do justice? If so problem solved...
AnimeBitch 14
Hey, it's good practice for when the baby comes.