Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
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Top comments
ummmyeahhh 0
ok, bad move. but if all you heard was heavy breathing, you'd think it was some creeper or a prank. so, yeah, i understand. hope your grandma is okay.
arms_akimbo 0
How could you know?
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Comments (157)
lolol182 4
caller id? duh
Stinkyfeet 0
True, how could they know... but still. You should still answer with, "Hello!" or "Hello?"
Wildcard 0
in a world this advanced... Caller ID? I haven't seen a phone without for a few years now. Hope you're grandma's alright though
pingpongpickle 8
maybe they don't hav their grandmas number memorized
hesallineed26 0
just cause it's new technology doesn't mean everyone has it.
rocketsgirl17 2
No. Every phone hall caller ID
reapy 14
My home phone doesn't....
yellow_fml 0
Not everyone has caller i.d., especially on a house phone. Your grandma should have called 911 instead. I don't think it's your fault, but I hope your grandma is ok.
peace7love2FML 0
well OP's grandma WAS having a stroke...maybe she wasn't in her right mind? i don't know ahaha
L0VE_fml 0
Uhm, its not like s/he could expect that. But still, even if you thought it was a joke you should probably normally.
coggs 0
hey, thers no way you could know. dont give them a hard time. no one really expects someone to call you while havin a seizure
elmo_cog88 0
Well, you thought that it was your friend But I hope she is okay.
btopishere 1
Tell grandma to say something next time or else nobody will save her.
awesomeamandas 37
you do realize that strokes can take away the ability to speak right? and even if OP's grandma could speak at the time it doesn't mean she was in the right of mind to even be able to form the words.
0_im_on_a_boat_0 0
you should just open your mouth and insert a shoe store!
awesomo3000 0
#21, ur not funny... and dude seriously...thats not funny. you shouldnt make up stuff like this. if she was having a stroke, she wouldnt of rememberd ur phone number probly or known to call u. LIAR