Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML
Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
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Top comments
MSheary1993 1
I was gonna clean my room but then I got high!
finished 10
Call them and find out you'll be less worried :)
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Comments (295)
apache316 6
I so want to do that to my parents lol
blackstar994 5
Awkward…
foxfur 25
wow... I hope they are ok. Id say call as soon as you can.
Danni91 8
Well that certainly makes for a memorable birthday o__O
eatsleepjb 8
It wasn't anyones birthday
imaginaryvoice 18
Who's birthday is it? Yours? Happy birthday
Horcruxer 0
Lol
blackstar994 5
I think 18 had a pice of the cake.
anzie_fml 9
Even worse, I think 18 had a piece of cake on top of that pice!
SugaryTears 0
Well you gotta go call them and ask!!
eatsleepjb 8
I didn't understand this at all until I read the comments..haha that's funny though! You should probably call your parents to make sure they're alright.
TKello 6
To them, this reminds them of their college days. Oh they'll be back again expecting more of that 'awesome' cake. But on a serious note, I hope they got home safely.
Jibblets2367 7
"Today, my own son drugged my husband and I. We woke up in the hospital. FML"
osteobabe 13
"Today, I didn't read the gender of the OP on FML. FML."
blackstar994 5
What does op mean?
Commander223 9
Octopus Penis
Llamacod 11
Octagonal pussy
Namerkp2 8
Otter ****
benchpress550 4
Optional Placement
jbsington 8
Orange Potato
suzukircr99 3
Optimus prime
geon_olam 17
original prankster
bizarre_ftw 22
Oh Pourquoi
pittpsu75 0
Make sure that purple zebra is okay too
yellowgaffer 4
You're an idiot.
bizarre_ftw 22
You're unfamiliar with FML
finished 10
Next time though try not to feed them marijuana cake...
eatsleepjb 8
He didnt know.....
fiblydinkerton 0
Seriously...lace their drink with ecstasy.
Namerkp2 8
Captain Obvious strikes again!
finished 10
Sorry my bad i missed the bit about the roommate
tj4234 36
the cake was a marijuana cake. 'Baked' is another word for high. Marijuana is often served inside a cake so that you get the effects without smoking it, and you also get something to eat at the same time!