Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
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Top comments
JumbledGirl 2
Aww.... You forgot to break things...
natsaysheyyy 16
Uhhm... No one puts up party decorations for an actual party...
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Comments (190)
JumbledGirl 2
Aww.... You forgot to break things...
xlord 27
I really hope they don't find out the truth.....cause then your status will be downgraded to pathetic :)
berichsoon 11
Or may be psycho
Calyx_fml 22
...and puke on their pillow.
hellbilly205 17
Red solo cup i fill you upp, lets have a party
divadro102 16
And the smell after everyone's left
BeClassy_BeMe 3
and you forgot to have sex on---oh wait
welshjumper 4
Haha. True dat!
Idonebeenhad 17
You forgot to put a bra and a used condom in your parent's bedroom.
iiTsAJ 5
So what were you doing when they got home? Dancing alone?
KiddNYC1O 22
Also forgot the piano in the pool and motorcycle tracks all over the floor.
EduJav321 24
98- there's a hand for that!
dead247 13
Good song.
yoyoforpeace 14
Pretty sure if you got drinks and maryjane you could've convinced ppl to come. YDI for being lazy!
thatssomeBS 9
What kind of lame ass party has balloons and streamers? Did you throw a birthday party for your niece and drink fruit punch from red cups?
imfrmbrklyn456 4
Can we say party animal!
skitzofunia88 8
No
ladyLALAA 29
Ain't no party like an S club party.
LSS_fml 18
Wow 87 that brings back memories!
dav3800 7
LOOK OUT EVERYONE, WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE.
VeganVampyre 27
Party animal! Look, I can say it! :D
imfrmbrklyn456 4
HOW AM I A BAD ASS CAUSE IM WEARING A LACE FRONT?!
kleopath 11
Wouldn't they be most likely be mad that you threw an unauthorized party in the first place, rather than congratulating you on not being a loser?
ElegantisDM 0
Did you watch Project X?
TahoeFMler 22
If he's/she's THAT big a "loser" then the family might really be THAT excited he/she "does" have a life! Fingers crossed!
the_true_batman 10
I think OP feels the pros outweigh the cons. Pro: family won't think I'm a loser Con: might get grounded Pro: being grounded I have an excuse to stay home on Friday night Con: parent's might make me do chores
forthelove82 7
You'd think that convincing your family of something you're not would be pretty hard thing to do.
metalflower01 7
No... My family has no idea who I am.
mk58 31
You're actually a mushroom? Is that what it is, 32?
mpfau797 0
Nooo. He actually uses the mushroom, that's what it is lol
xlLuCkYChArMIx 0
Allison??
sleepy4932 0
You don't have to prove anything to anyone except yourself
xlord 27
It's true but there is an inherent need in all of us to prove ourselves to others. Especially those we care about. It is sad but true
natsaysheyyy 16
Uhhm... No one puts up party decorations for an actual party...
Trollzaya 6
unless your OP!
cutiesoprano19 4
I do
Vierness 3
#48
Rasmus1990 4
Unless your op what?
Vierness 3
Your picture is scary.
mjoyn98 1
Back to square one! OP probably feels like even more of a loser after reading this.
norr14 4
You probably thing that your pink hummer takes place of the decorations. who doenst put up decorations i mean you atleast get baloons
ohSNAPyall 27
Yea. Your parents are going to figure out your wiles and pity you.
FrankHotpants 31
But you are a loser, for doing something like that.
skitzofunia88 8
Exactly, OP you are a loser. You're downfall was putting you're story on FML. Sorry to be so blunt, but you were asking for it. And you just love it, don't you?
the_true_batman 10
You missed the point completely. OP was trying to change how he is perceived, not how he is. Either learn to read, or stop being stupid.
MidnaLink 35
How the hell did this comment even get any likes? Even 24 got disliked for agreeing with you
doogy15 11
Number 7, if I met you in person I would slap you. Then tell you to get rid of your bowl hair cut. It's amazing how you got so many likes...
KVKdragon 26
Who says you need to throw a party (fake or not) to not be a loser? You can attend or throw parties and still be a loser one way or another
kateRAWR 4
To be honest , op is probably that much of a loser, he dose't realise ...... ( yes i know i will get thumbed down coz I ALWAYS do and + it was a joke u get it !)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, since you insisted. *Hit thumbs down button with a sledgehammer*
McMan 23
Goddamn it Doc, your translator isn't working. I want my money back!
SkoomaKi 28
55 - You're comment is so bad, a few thousand grammar nazis had heart attacks.
Amandakay_98 0
147- It's spelled "your" in this case, not "you're." If you're gonna make fun of people for their grammar usage, consider being less of an idiot.
Z03y 7
151- I'm pretty sure that it was intended.
WCARlover 35
Now this just makes me sad
yahoowizard 16
But it makes him happy so...
LunaDragon 10
But why the streamers, balloons, and confetti? That's a bit of overboard, Loooser hahaha just kidding.
DobiesJS2012 9
Next thing you know the Op's parents are getting a bill from a petting zoo!