Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML
Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML
Today, I went on a first date and tried to make a good impression by ordering something I'd never eaten before. It was a whole fish. I spent the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to eat it without looking clueless. My date had ordered chicken nuggets. FML
Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BeastyMcbeast 19
I didn't know being able to eat spicy food was something that can be considered impresive.
MonkeeArtz 11
YDI. Don't bite off more than you can chew just to impress someone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
rshweky 17
Actions speak louder than words
elektra2 16
Care to explain how this saying is suitable here?
Le_ponderer 14
I think #1 meant if OP had just ordered the spicy meal without the braggart statement; he would have made a better impression when he pushed his plate away and looked at her with "save me" eyes
cutycat136 28
Milk would have helped you out better
MonkeeArtz 11
YDI. Don't bite off more than you can chew just to impress someone.
OysterPearls 33
Looks like OP got burned trying to look hot.
grajax 24
Literally, in this case anyways.
NeatNit 33
hopefully the date thought it was funny and doesn't think less of him I'll bet it was hilarious XD
THE_GLOW_CLOUD 9
Indeed. You shouldn't need to try to impress anyone. I know that belongs on a cat poster somewhere, but it's true.
BeastyMcbeast 19
I didn't know being able to eat spicy food was something that can be considered impresive.
rileyrae0000 23
That's what I was thinking. That's the best OP has got?? Eating spicy food, so impressive
chinaski7628 32
He was just trying to curry his date's favor :)
DoomedGemini 38
To be fair, I can't take any spicy and I've been mocked by many for it. I don't see why you'd try to use it to impress someone though.
Le_ponderer 14
Honestly, if someone ate spicy food while dining with me I would be more worried about them passing nuclear-level gas. Ditto for burps. Long story short; I would not go near any of their holes!
MrsPegg 45
Haha yep! What I would find impressive on a dinner date, is someone who can educate me about and introduce me to new foods. Now THAT is a turn on!
9a_1z 12
I read somewhere that people's tolerance of spicy foods is proportional to their testosterone levels. However you can't somehow up your testosterone levels by forcing down food that is too hot for you.
coatl45 11
In Louisiana, half our foods are spicy, and I love it, but I can only take Mexican style spicy food, from Tex-Mex restaurants and the like. Tabasco sauce from my own state I can't stand. Something about the scent of it is a major turn off for me. I've caught a lot of hell because of that growing up.
hello_hola 3
Fun fact, its not a taste, its actually your tongue thinking its burning. So yeah, it actually causes pain if you can't handle it.
fordneagles 34
Because heaven forbid you just ******* TALK to the person instead of trying to impress them.
XxDanno316xX 27
Right, because being able to eat spicy food is a huge turn on for the opposite sex. Next time, be yourself. Show offs never win op. Better luck next time
Silk_Routes 14
was she from India?
Misswildsides 22
Don't show off to impress people, it will almost always backfire. Hope your date was understanding, though.
annalily5 28
Well hopefully this taught you to be less of a tool next time.
Lalala579121 28
Was this your first experience with spicy food or something? I would think you should've already known you can't handle it and would just make a fool of yourself.
VeganVampyre 27
Maybe they thought they'd be able to keep a straight face and fake it, even if their mouth was burning. I still don't know why they thought that would be so impressive though...