Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
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Top comments
TheChiver 7
To the window! To the wall! To the sweat drops down your balls!
GothickNihilist 15
I hope you weren't freeballing.
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Comments (57)
astralvagan 20
Never go commando to work....
TheRandomIndian 17
Well sometimes shit happens and you don't have a choice
Eluveitie 9
When does that ever happen...?
klutz44 28
Ask Al Roker
outoftown 27
A boss who thinks exposed junk will improve business?! Unless you're in the junk business, I don't see this working well.
Coop817 19
Unless you were going commando or are secretly a tranny, it shouldn't be that much of a problem.
AFloppyWetWhale 6
That's what I'm saying!!!
charvisioku 22
I think the fact that I misunderstood this as you calling your wife to ask for a new pair of balls is a clear sign that I need to go to sleep.
samcro3 8
Thats when you say screw it and start approaching female customers. Unless you've got an inny, your sales will skyrocket.
bornaunicorn 12
Oh yeah who doesn't love random clerk peen when at the store...
GingerNinja7 17
I guess you could say your customers were... In stitches ;)
Eluveitie 9
You could say that, but I wouldn't.
Shrouds 14
I could say your comment doesn't make any sense, so i will.
GingerNinja7 17
They were laughing at him..
Pharmgrl03 9
Well did your underpants rip too?
False_Stupidity 42
Who said he was wearing any?
buckdharma 38
Op got the following customer testimonial: I was sceptical at first, but once your sales rep laid it all out there for me, I was convinced he had nothing to hide...
Vlad567 5
Just explain yourself next time in a polite manner to your boss things usually work out unless he is a ******* heartless dick then your shit out of luck
Ljk106 1
Duct tape.