Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML
Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, my mom is on vacation and I’m taking care of her pets. I also get to clean the entire house. No, she didn’t ask me to do that. It’s just that I had to hold my breath every time I opened the fridge, and there is no surface clean enough to actually touch, so I simply couldn’t help myself. FML
Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML
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Top comments
funneh1 21
That's dangerous. Perhaps open all the windows to air out your house? Just don't stay in there, inhaling those fumes can affect you.
cathleenn 9
Atleast Mr.Clean is proud.
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Comments (40)
Exaspera 55
Bleach hides blood. Maybe she murdered someone while you were out?
PsychobillyRebel 14
That's it? I use like 3 whole bottles (they're pretty large too) and can breath and see fine :o maybe I'm already slowing dying hahaaa
invadermaythe1st 35
ask if you can stay at her house? you can't sit there and breathe in fumes. do you know what it does? literally, look it up. they used it in bombs and shit for a reason.
apaul982 14
Pfff... Febreez would've done the job
Idahome 6
I'm sure this will get voted down, but A: Be grateful she is so awesome to come over and help you clean. And B: How do you let your place get so filthy that your mother feels the need to come over and do YOUR cleaning? Grow up, dude.
Fairyjoshy 13
Did you consider that the house was perfectly clean before the mother came over and the mother is just one of those people who is obsessive about cleaning and felt everything needed to be scrubbed down with bleach?
DanCastellaneta 17
Now how the **** does someone manage to use half a bottle of bleach in one cleaning
Zebediabolical 45
A large filthy house could easily soak up a liter of bleach to get it good and clean. Then a couple extra shots to help clean out OP's lungs.
tdawg91 17
Yeah I was wondering that too, I only ever use bleach in the toilet and bath tub and no more than a cap full
melawesome 6
How nice of your mom. No, not FML. First world problems...
jennlody 28
This is why I'm moving 350 miles away- close enough for a visit every few months maybe, but far away enough that she can't do this lol.
Eco93 10
clean house for free leave the windows open and celebrate.
YourOpinionSucks 22
Second jog while you sit out your house?
YourOpinionSucks 22
Air*
DoomedGemini 38
Truthfully, both of those could work.