Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Sins of the Mother
Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML
Today, I was taking a biology final and was just randomly tapping my pencil. My teacher thought I was somehow communicating with the person next to me, and decided to fail me. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Huge balls
Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Art critic
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML
Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
Top comments
Lebeaugars95 20
guess who the teacher called after that comment
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
All you had to do was go to class with a pencil. I am sure McDonalds is hiring though.
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Comments (84)
xscreamokidx 8
Well? Don't leave us hanging.
DanielleinDC 34
Way past time for you to grow up, kiddo.
IllestRated 17
Keep it up I out going to be living with 'your mom'
BootheGhost 6
I'm sorry, what?
Earths_Venus 25
That's actually pretty funny.
Pleonasm 36
As a matter of fact, the anatomy teacher's mother was the model for the art anatomy class, and sure enough, upon further inspection, said pencil was found inside the mom.
AFCCT 7
Being someone who used to blurt this out far too much as a kid, I almost spat out my strawberry laughing. Easily one of my favorite FMLs
every1luvsboners 11
What's does a mathematician do when he's constipated? Works it out with a pencil. No really OP, you're a blithering idiot with the mental dexterity of a rabid wombat smoking meth in an abandoned storage unit while eating Michael Jackson's decomposed corpse for brunch.
GirlGamer12345 22
What this have to do the FML?
thomcmoore 23
Well that escalated quickly.
wiseKat99 13
That was just immature. I honestly have no remorse for you whatsoever. Your fault that this happened. YDI
Jakob2255 12
you need a sense of humor
laden_swallow09 35
46- You need to grow up.
frizz101 22
Jokes are fun, but sometimes people need to grow up and be serious sometimes.
Jellybellybeanz 22
Are you a sixth grader or something?
Capitan 15
I guess time to grow up?
pratikp03 22
Op guess what I did last night.,your mom LOL
mcbainos 8
Right now I wish there was a like button