Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger, because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Understanding
Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Thoughts and prayers
Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Ya winning, son?
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Top comments
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Watermellon? I have no sympathy for you. Try a healthier addiction, like rice cocain!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Why? It'd be kind of hard to get fat on watermelon.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
chelseaaababyyy 17
watermelon is the shit (:
xCocobirdx 0
Watermelon isn't unhealthy xD your mom should be proud instead of being concerned lol.
iAmScrubs 19
I feel your pain man! I've been doing nothing for two months other than listening to death metal music and eating watermelon. That feeling of getting the daily fix is nothing short of priceless.
xCocobirdx 0
Actually, this makes me want to diet on watermelon. It's so good and it's healthy :D
dreamering 16
Don't go in Japan. You'll be bankrupt within a month.
jandera 0
hahaha
MoglieHill 0
Do you like grape soda?
FMLaddict20 5
i cant imagine what shed do if u got hooked on candy...
BIEBERSLAYER 10
there are way too many names for crack these days.
beginnersluck 0
at least watermelon isn't illegal right? soo you're good for now.
borkchop1992 15
are you black?