Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML
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Top comments
mrghdfy76 8
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE WOAAAAHOHOH
OfficialJSmooth 8
Flying high... Grounded... See what he did there?
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Comments (147)
Reddeaded 5
I think that was one long period.
jetsown08 21
OP is a guy...
The_F3rris 11
Man period?
ILoveZombieBoys 13
Lmfao FYL, op. That suckssssss :p
awagh666 14
^sssssso does your comment.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
There's a button for that. Please make use of it.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
24- And I guess we're all snakes here. *hiss*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
24) OH GOD GET AWAY I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR PLEASE DON'T EAT ME
DarkHelmet 10
Well your Mom decided you didn't deserve to be in a good mood
awagh666 14
But where did you hide your unicorn though?
RegularDayFML 0
Well. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas.
winnie_moline 6
I feel bad for u. U should just b**ch at her and make her feel bad
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
What's that going to help? That would make two sad people around the house. And wouldn't that get OP in more trouble for "bitching" his mom out? Sheesh. I hope you never did that.
MCRaddict15 15
Okay, when I bitch someone out (especially my parents) I usually end up in a sour mood. I don't know about OP, but bitching someone out is never fun, especially when you're in a good mood. And why would you bitch at someone for such a small thing like this? Honestly the way drugs are being misused today, she was just looking out for OP.
jetsown08 21
Who said they're depressed? Maybe OPs just going through a tough stretch?
martin_martian7 11
So she knows you smoke weed huh (;
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I hope they apologize. My mom refused to apologize to me yesterday when I was falsely accused. But congrats on being in a good mood. Find things that make you happy so you can keep it up!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Don't worry, OP. Sometimes I just smile at my mom and she thinks I'm up to no good.