Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
girliekins123 0
That's so gross...
annamei 16
So did you let her smell it? :p
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Comments (190)
DocBastard 40
What's really ****** up is the fact that neither of you have enough anal sensation to be able to detect the passage of noxious fumes. You may want to stop inserting baseball bats, zucchini, and small woodland creatures from now on.
perdix 31
Kids, today!!! Of course, it was your mom that farted, but if you were a good, respectful kid, you would have taken the blame. The consequences of pinning the blame on your mom are so much worse than those of taking the rap yourself, you have to be an idiot not to lie in this case. Being right isn't always the smart way to go.
FajitaFreak 3
Sorry, what? If her mom farted, why would he/she take the blame for it? That makes no sense at all.
perdix 31
In an ideal world, you are right. It makes no sense to take the blame for a fart that you certainly didn't issue, especially to the person who certainly did. In the real world, however, your life would be much easier if you just go along with the obvious lie. Mom's got power and you don't. It takes balls to speak truth to power, but getting kicked powerfully in those balls is pretty ******* painful. Most people are better off pretending to accept the lies of the powerful.
pink_raindrops 26
Mom's always seem to act really weird when they fart, like it's some horribly embarassing event for them. It can be embarassing around strangers I'm sure, but should it really matter that much if you fart infront of your own family? One time I remember my mom farting infront of me when I was like 15 and I laughed cuz farts are funny..she left the room looking so upset.
perdix 31
pink_raindrops, I hope that means you are agreeing with me. Sometimes it is better for everyone involved to accept an obvious lie than to fight for the truth.
i_did_that 0
Stfu 96
DocBastard 40
i_did_that - 16 comments Perdix - 8188 comments Need I say more?
Kueezy 6
Wear a thong or g-string to confuse her!
HumanFreakshow 5
call her a "fart sniffer" and rub your panties in her face and see how much she likes it. XP
fmlikecrazy 0
Was it you?
rocker_chick105 31
ok. eat a bunch of beans. then when she is asleep. LOCK, LOAD, AND FIRE!!!!
Ali_Ridhima541 0
why would u post that crap on here?
leadman1989 16
Shart and then when she goes in for a whiff, shell get more than she bargained for.
sky22_fml 7
Now that's just plain nasty!
maddy23a 5
Who gives a shit ?
SteveTheJanitor 6
I see what you did there....