Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
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Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
She wasn't making a statement. She was being an irrational idiot.
fmlfmlfml15 0
ouch...FYL Lesson learned: NEVER intervene when your parents are fighting!!
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Comments (101)
Rota 0
Wow what a bitch of a mom. I'd slap my wife if she ever did that just to prove a point.
michael666 7
id beat your ass for hitting a women. NEVER. HIT. A WOMEN.
omnivector 0
the fact that your parents throw glass plates to "prove a point" at all is pretty ****** up :( sorry man
mike1921 0
.....When you said that I pictured people talking by breaking things O_o , what an interesting language that I have created in my mind. Translation: *Takes out a mallet , hits his washing machine and headbutts a wall*
mercilessadi 0
Today,me and my husband were fighting over how to get rid of our sad Asian kid. When he tried to end the fight,I saw my chance and broke a plate on his foot. Fhl
HahaYDI 0
Lol that was freaking hilarious.
RNorthlandLGB 0
This is why supporting dad's is better: if you were standing next to HIM that wouldn't have happened to your foot.
DevineLegacy 0
i think she needs some anger management.....poor you!
RNorthlandLGB 0
This is why supporting dad's is better: if you were standing next to HIM that wouldn't have happened to your foot.
perryscherry 0
why the hell were you trying to stop the arguement?.....couples argue get over it, its not like they were 'fighting'! I think your mother threw the plate on your foot on purpose to get you to shut the **** up and back off!
dmhgbz 0
Why the **** were you on fmylife instead of the damn ER getting the glass removed? GENIUS.
electroboy_fml 0
"Today" doesn't literally mean today.
JokerXero 0
Let Jerry Springer handle this shit, his been doing it for many years.