Slasher
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
You tried
Pleonasm 36
I'd make a pun about vases but then I'd get corrected 3 times on the pronounciation of the word vase.
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Comments (68)
summerguy97 16
You tried
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Marian Moseby, is that you?
mFUNdo21 17
you tried and failed. moral of the story? if you do not try, you will not fail
steffi90 13
...and failed. maybe this will be a lesson to you...let falling vases fall...less pain that way.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Everyone is gonna fail at some point. Best to try and fail then not try at all. Trying to the point of complete devastation means you pushed yourself to the limit, next time push it even further. OP will now be a better vase catcher because of this incident, hell, he may end up being the worlds greatest vase catcher!
AnagenisisZagus 13
Long live the vase catcher!
AnOriginalName 19
Do, or do not. There is no try.
broderickc 13
a for effort, right?
Pleonasm 36
I'd make a pun about vases but then I'd get corrected 3 times on the pronounciation of the word vase.
namyo 13
I would ad-vase they go to A and E
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Good idea. I'd hate to see you get pun-ished.
AnOriginalName 19
What kind of pun could you make out of the word "vase?"
TheLittleBear 19
#40: That OP was trying to take e-VASE-iv action?
elliot_bennett16 9
*pronunciation
Pleonasm 36
True that.
lifesucksballz2 9
good try you did your best. i hope you get better OP!
syki 22
You tried, and therefore no one can judge you. (But fail, OP.)
corporatescoundr 25
I just imagined that everything went in slow motion when you dove... And went even slower as you slid through the glass.
SymphonyGrrl 12
An attempt was made. That's all that matters. And stitches. Those matter too.
giorgi0202 9
that sucks...hope your didnt get cut.
RainbowDashie140 12
Your what exactly?
lifesucksballz2 9
read the end stupid
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
I'm no rocket scientist but I'm pretty sure diving on to shards of glass will result in being cut...
psiloveyou15 12
Read the grammatically incorrect comment, stupid.
Queensland 27
It's alright, 8 looks about 9 years old. He probably hasn't reached that English lesson yet.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
what the **** is with your profile
Haley422 9
At least you tried, if it would have been me I would of been blamed for it then bitched at for it for an hour.
MoronsAccount1 12
I hope you're okay, OP. Glass can be a nasty ******. I end up accidentally cutting myself on glass several times a week, and I am not amused.
Enslaved 38
Me too. At work, I'm surrounded by fragile wine and martini glasses. I've caught a few that were dropped but the ones I've missed-- I swear they seem to fall in slow motion. :P
CrissyyyS2 22
Oh. I thought there would be something like... After a failed attempt, my mother yelled at me for not catching the vase on time.
rob02 19
Atleast you tried.