Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML
Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML
Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML
Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
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Top comments
The_MMH 0
Then loose some weight. Dó it for your kids.
CallMeHush 1
awwwww, that is so cute. No more twinkees for you for a while tubby.
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Comments (99)
mercedeslove 0
you have some seriously rude kids. I am sorry for you. Hope they aren't doing that to other people. Rude pieces of trash
v_garcia3 0
ummm like the sayin goes "kids n drunks always tell the truth!" it's not rude, if they're pointing out the obvious
Morokea 0
Maybe those kids want their father to be healthier.
cajun_nicole2012 0
sooo cute! lol I would have probably laughed after I got over the initial blunt truth... lol
Toxxic_Blackout 0
Yes, it is EXTREMELY rude for a kid to want their parents to be more attractive an healthier! no. what's rude was how they said it.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'm guessing they're parroting what they've heard OP or his wife say often; 15 lbs. is kind of a random number for kids.
Swimmer248 0
I think it's cute that they care about their dad's health and appearance.
perdix 31
I hope they make you a glass of raw eggs to suck down! Yo, Adriiiiiaaaaannn!
5t3ff1k4h 47
If you want raw food, sushi's the way to go. Raw eggs? Yuck.
perdix 31
Back when they made the movie "Rocky," most North Americans didn't know what sushi was. Of course, back in the day, eggs weren't frequently contaminated with salmonella, so drinking them was merely disgusting, but not lethal.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Like I said. Yuck.
zoe_zoe_fml 0
23- salmonella doesn't come from inside the egg, it's from the outside of the eggshell. so if ur careful, u won't get it.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Zoe, that's actually rather interesting. Thanks for the brain food!
amerwin 3
haha what more motivation could you need to lose weight? not only do you have two little rascals that need a father figure around as long as possible but you also have an epic survivor theme song to do work to
cptmorgan15 2
you have some of the funniest kids alive, especially if they're young.
justsayfuck 5
I wonder what role they picked for you..
JulianFTW 0
hahahahaha my brother once told my dad he looked like he was 100% body fat
baybegurl 0
hahah! then go and loose weight... do it for yur kids. (:
Awnonymous 4
You're a bitch and I hope he dumps you.
The_Fonz_fml 0
umm wrong post?
Lexisaurus 6
haha I don't think kids can actually dump their father.. if they were going out that's called incest... and is illegal. lmfao WTF?
v_garcia3 0
dun, dun dun dun, dun dun duuun!!! lmao pickin the right song took sum thoughtfulness on their behalf = )
Rik_fml 0
What are you waiting for?Get to the gym!