Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
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Top comments
Psycocharger 19
What did I just read...?
XxNekoLovexX 26
Well that's vile. Spray him with Liquid Ass and see if he likes that
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Comments (60)
Bleublancrouge_fml 13
That's a rather smelly idea.
jazzybaby179 22
What a cruel sense of humor.
gamermonster 34
Afetr reading this i need the brain and eye bleach
PuppiesKisses 19
Get yourself some elephant garlic. Just grill the Garlic in the shell on an open fire until it's soft. It's DELICIOUS and very very good for you. Your gas will also put him to shame and maybe make him rethink the whole eating to tune the gas thing. Just make sure you don't work the next day...
miss_fluffybutt 17
Is your husband an 8 year old boy? He certainly demonstrates the attitude of one.
silverkaast 9
with the name miss fluffy butt one would think the same of you. *shrug*
Artificial 4
What
Tripartita 45
In fairness, this is considered normal behavior in his universe. A nexus point arose in his timeline, presenting him with two divergent realities. Through no fault of his own, he's found himself here.
StarkWolf_fml 23
in the other one he ****** Bill Nye the science guy
Mathalamus 25
What an asshole...
jay_south 19
I've heard that love stinks, but that's ridiculous.
countryb_cth 38
Well yah know they do say love is blind, to bad for her that it smells
whysojealous 18
I'm so confused on how he got to this point. Did he like suddenly smell his farts like "how can I make this smell amazing?"