Anonymous
Surrey, Canada
Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
hungry hungry harvey
United States
Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML
ManChildBF
Loveland, United States
Sounds like a keeper
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
horribleday
Ozark, United States
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Ungrateful
United States
Go long
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Chez
Picky eater
Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML
hss
United States
Food fight
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Zia
Cold dish for dinner
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
lildale92
Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML
Anonymous
West Hartford, United States
I wanna be oppressed so bad
Today, my stepfather decided he was no longer part of our family, and refused to come to family dinner, all because we're all women, and he isn't. FML
Anonymous
That joke isn't funny anymore
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Top comments
A07 48
Tell him that the next time you're not horny, he's not even allowed to help himself. Might give him better prespective.
shhhaaarrron 12
Don't make him food when he's actually hungry. Problem solved.
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Comments (148)
SwordSlayer99 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's a "starving" situation.
IAmMe204 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha nice joke... -.-' *sigh* :P
BvbArmy_0 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Therefore, leaving OP's stomach, 'empty handed' anyone? No? Okay
SgtAssCheeks 21
there was an attempt
mooeyyy 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guessing he's trying to tell you that you're a bit on the chubby side.... Rude.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
OR, Here's a thought: He could just be a selfish, controlling asshole.
R3TROxLOV3 32
Right? I'm honestly not sure where you're getting her possibly being overweight from this FML. It sounds more like he's just a selfish dickhole.
Saraishi 25
@ #17 Exactly.
mannatee 19
You had to go straight to that? How can you even draw that conclusion from what was said?
Bragi 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And 49 - Seems like the obvious conclusion to me. He's trying to enforce portion control, something I've seen plenty of wives do to their husbands. Their just better at it.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't know why 3 is getting down voted, to me it sounded like the husband was just a controlling idiot, but what 3 said is an option as well. Maybe he is trying to control the amount she eats? It could be possible, even if it wasn't our first thought. She did say "guessing..."
Chibi_Kitten 24
True, but the mature thing to do is for OP's husband to tell her that he is concerned about her health and to maybe change her diet. He shouldn't force her, otherwise she won't learn for herself. She should be able to think for herself.
Bragi 12
Maybe he's tried and she ignored it. Moreover, we learn by doing, creating habits, not by thinking and making decisions. The source is irrelevant.
Lone_Wolfie 0
I agree get out while you can OP
Binda33 4
Whether she needs to lose weight or not, he's being disrespectful, and nobody should put up with a spouse that tries to control them in this way. OP, put your foot down and don't let him treat you this way! You are not his child or his pet!
A07 48
Tell him that the next time you're not horny, he's not even allowed to help himself. Might give him better prespective.
tigerisabelle 31
Or if you don't have to go to the bathroom, and he does, well, sucks for him. The douchecanoe will get what's coming to him!
fleuretta 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tempt him. Convince him that he is hungry. That ought to do the trick ;)
teotsi 28
And how the utter **** do you suggests this happens?
fleuretta 19
Make chocolate cake!!!
rawr_ily96 24
Not allowed to make food. He would assume it's for her knowing these idiots.
gabbywalliscool 5
Haha
shhhaaarrron 12
Don't make him food when he's actually hungry. Problem solved.
LowExpectations 30
If you can't cook then just go out to eat by yourself. Leave him to fend for himself.
Adam5858 17
Why would you listen to him !
interesting33 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You might want to ignore that and czech the fridge. If you are hungary then kenya just exspain to him that just because he can turn his appetite for turkey on and off like a switz doesn't mean you can. Tell him there is norway you are following that rule: it is not aztecnical as your arguement that if you don't eat food it will get all germany.
Adam5858 17
Make sure to polish your plate before you eat to take care of any greece.After that go for a walk but make sure to be russian so you dont get too chile.Denmark how far you walked.
Colecto_fml 26
That stopped being funny in 98' -_-
foxwasalamb 24
but why country references?
interesting33 37
why not?
91hayek 31
Just do what you want; he can't 'decide' anything for you.
Bragi 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And that is how you end a marriage.
itcomesinthrees 10
You end a marriage by deciding when you should eat? No, I think you end a marriage by being a controlling prick like OP's husband.
Bragi 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, you end a marriage by refusing to meet your spouse half way or consider their needs and desires. By just "doing what you want."
91hayek 31
Basic rights to food or water or shelter should not be negotiated into; they can be adjusted or modified if need be, but outright denial at the behest of one party is pretty silly. If anything it is the act of a petulant child or a megalomaniac dictator - I think OPs husband is more of the former.
tweetypie 18
#97 is obviously a troll
Emily062611 6
Are you this crazy in your relationship or something? This is him not considering her wants or needs. How do you meet halfway between "I'm hungry" and "Well I'm not so you can't eat"?
katthompson 7
I agree. A man should never tell you what you can and can't do. That's not a real man in my eyes.
xvrhdez 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
...in few words, he wants divorce
lord_meloetta 20
That isn't what he said at all
Bragi 12
More like he's trying to prevent one.