Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
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Top comments
nutycowboy 3
I hate bugs...FYL
Jrook 0
"lol" is even more pathetic for a first comment than "first" is op; wow that's amazing. surprised you haven't died yet from other catastrophic overreactions.
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Comments (117)
LeoBrZ81 0
The Christmas Spider attacks again.
Goople 0
OMG I would have spazzed and flung it off, and THEN have fallen. But thats just because Im asian.....
martron3000 5
Spiderpig...spiderpig... does whatever a spiderpig dies!
martron3000 5
D'oh! I meant "does".
Spooksu 0
Sounds like me. : /
Spooksu 0
think of this... An average person eats about 3 Spiders in a lifetime while sleeping...now that freaked the shit out of me and I could barely sleep for bout 7 months n tried to keep my mouth closed n thought bout getting one of those thing that keep bugs out of the bed lmao
redbeater 5
pussy, an outdoor spider in the U.S. and almost anywhere else are near harmless to humans. I would trade a spiderbite over a broken arm any day!
blastvortex 4
You should have made the spider radioactive and let it bite you; then you'd have super-powers.
twickr 0
in feb/march you still had xmas lights up?
Brey1013 0
Wow dude, like im scared of spiders, but holy crap. YDI for letting a tiny animal hurt you so bad. and i bet it was tiny. you should see some South African spiders.