Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML
Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive
Welshite 40
#7: I would label myself as a feminist with an emphasis on equality, but I'm smart enough to know the difference between a joke and an insult. Besides, to "put [him] in [his] place" sounds abusive and controlling. That's not feminism.
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Comments (51)
hmanonfire 6
Ben folds or snoop and dre and all them?
feeth 1
honestly it doesn't matter if you were "joking". those jokes are degrading and someone who makes them obviously doesn't "fully respect women" lol
SneezyBear 27
I'm a woman and I make these jokes. What does that make me?
The_FreshPrince 8
You make it sound like OP purposely put on that song when he clearly states that's not what happened. Stop with your bias opinion and look at the whole picture.
jeriaslovesyou 16
She's kind of over reacting. Especially if you were just kidding. She should've came up with something sarcastic to say back.
worldclassrager 41
That didn't pay out the way you wanted
chicz 6
Hahahahhahahaha
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Feminist here too. Dictionary definition: " The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." Equality. Putting a man "in his place" is as disrespectful as putting a woman "in her place". People twisting it for their own agenda is why feminism is seen as a joke, a bunch of man hating lesbians, "feminazis" etc. and ultimately plays into the hands of misogynists.
mister_icicle 17
Ladies - If you have time to read FMLs, you have time to bake me a pie. Just sayin'.