Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML
Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive
Welshite 40
#7: I would label myself as a feminist with an emphasis on equality, but I'm smart enough to know the difference between a joke and an insult. Besides, to "put [him] in [his] place" sounds abusive and controlling. That's not feminism.
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Comments (51)
GoBigRed 6
Get back in the kitchen.
Welshite 40
#7: I would label myself as a feminist with an emphasis on equality, but I'm smart enough to know the difference between a joke and an insult. Besides, to "put [him] in [his] place" sounds abusive and controlling. That's not feminism.
DianeYoung 11
Karma is a bitch
BubbleGrunge 18
Bitches be crazy.
sweetbliss3 37
99% sure it's "bitches be trippin."
BubbleGrunge 18
I'm a feminist too, but a real one. You know, the type who believes in equality for all and can take a damn joke. Your boyfriend must be so lucky.
otumboo 10
sounds like she's really over reacting over something stupid
cjwayy 22
Okay she's a little bit of a drama queen. My boyfriend is a self-proclaimed feminist and he makes jokes like that all the time. So do I.
23lf 16
That's really really bad luck OP
johobus28 26
"I'm a feminist! I believe in gender equality! Now, make all men feel like crap for everything"
Khaleesi_26 30
Why get angry about a song?